Hey @futuremind,

I'd like to step into the conversation :)

How so many have the "me me me first" mindset, not willing to ever make sacrifice for others, and wonder why they feel so lonely at the end of the day. In turn, it leaves many selfless people without anyone.

Although I think I understand what you mean by this, I also perceive it in other ways (also for throwing in some provocativeness, for I have time to do so ;-).

I observe that where problems arise is where someone wants to stand up for someone else, help them and solve their problems for them, or ease the circumstances in which that person lives (can also be said for groups). Where help is given, abundantly, often and to the point of self-sacrifice, "helping" has become an identification that I find difficult.

I call it the "helper syndrome". Associated with wanting to interfere in other people's lives because one needs so much oneself to experience affirmation and social recognition through one's selfless acts (I guess, you'd argue that this is not selflessness:). The person being helped, that is, the one to whom one gives advice, money or time, may thereby remain below one's own means and become dependent on the seemingly selfless person.

For me, this has to do with a lack of trust in oneself and others, and this fashion of acting like an altruist who puts the welfare of others before one's own has a taste of dishonesty.

That said, there is no general truth to be found in what I said, because it may of course be that it would do someone good to step back from their own desires and give preference to someone else, much like you do with children, because as an adult you know how to curb your desires. Always depending on the present situation and person.

Genuine selflessness is probably far less glorious or obvious, probably sometimes even seen as the opposite (!), perceived as selfishness and ego-centricity. I am thinking, for example, of the saints and guiding figures from religion and mythology. The enlightened one seems like someone no longer entirely of this world and not yet entirely in another. It no longer worries this character so much, all the suffering and the struggle for "the truth".

This makes this personality seem less human, nihilism is implied here and I can understand it in a way, sometimes this apparent indifference annoys me to no end. But I should not confuse it with serenity. Most things can be sat out, if only it weren't for the many who constantly have to do and think and decide something because otherwise they feel worthless and unvalidated.

In summary, I would say that one problem of interpersonal conflicts lies in the negative tension between actionism and slackness (overdoing it and under-performing). Where it lies in the positive tension between rest periods and creative phases.

... But a question came to my mind, while writing this: Is it not possible that selflessness detaches one from many people and that becoming used to a state of alone-ness is the result of it? Can it be framed in this way what you described as

it leaves many selfless people without anyone

?