As some of you may know I recently started a new job at a bank.
No not a sperm bank, one where people deposit money.
So, a women came in and asked me to check her balance.
I pushed her and she realized she had terrible balance.
I was summarily fired.
So I have some extra time before I start my next gig.
Since I have some spare time, I found myself wondering if there are people that don't fart?
I searched google because we were discussing whether or not everybody farts?
This topic came up because we were in the care listening to music when this song came up:
And I decided to start singing along butt replaced "hurts" with "farts". I was even able to time a few farts exactly when the time came to sing "farts". Of course I had placed window lock on to hotbox the passengers.
So what did google say?
Well 1st we have to define Farting.
Per Oxford Dictionary , "Farting" is emitting gas from the anus
So , I sat in my armchair and scratched my chin and got all philosophical and another question came to my mind.
Does everyone have an anus?
The answer is amazingly no.
According to Hopkins Medical:
"There may also be stenosis (narrowing) or a complete absence of the anus. The problem is caused by abnormal development of the fetus and may be associated with other birth defects. Imperforate anus is a relatively common condition that occurs in about 1 out of 5,000 infants."
Then I also thought of people that have colostomy bags. They technically have an anus BUTT they no longer can fart out of it so they cannot fart either since their intestines' have been rerouted.
So, I was actually incorrect when I sang along to the song.
This then depressed me Butt I am happy that I created $FART Token which can ultimately allow every to participate in Farting on another level.
So the next time you let one rip, remember those that do not have the joy of making that special noise with their anus'.
I looked at my dog and wondered about animals as well.
So of course I googled it.
Heres a few in case you do not want to search this and have it in your search history 🤣
The 1st animal I searched were women:
How often do women fart?
Women may actually fart more than men. However, they are typically more discreet about doing it. Humans pass gas between 13 to 21 times a day.
I then was curious about Spiders:
*It is not scientifically proven yet but yes, it is possible that spiders do fart. The reasons for flatulence in spider can be ingestion of air during sucking liquid diet or the gas produced by bacteria during the breakdown of liquid food in the stercoral sac. * According to Perfect Atom, Image from Perfect atom as well, great Fart Art (you cant have Fart without Art)
BUTT are there animals that can't fart?
I googled it
What is the only animal that Cannot fart?
Sloths
Sloths are the only mammal that doesn't fart. (Image: Epicawesomewolf.) Shea McComb and 2,939 others like this.
I was skeptical so I did my own research, DYOR and found contradictory info
According to da internet I found the following info:
What animals fart list?
Scientists have finally created a database of which animals fart and which do not fart
SNAKES – YES, SOME OF THEM FART.
FROGS – MAYBE FARTERS.
MILLIPEDES – SOMEHOW, YES THEY ALSO FART.
SPIDERS – MAYBE FARTERS.
BATS – YES, THEY FART.
COCKROACHES – YES, ALSO COCKROACHES FART.
SEA ANEMONE – NO, BUT BURPS REAL BAD.
BIRDS – NOPE.
And of course I was wondering which animal has the worst smelling farts:
According to Greenpeace:
Which animal has the smelliest fart?
Image result for which animals fart fart
the sea lion
Rick Schwartz, ambassador and keeper for the San Diego Zoo, dug into his memories of the worst farts he has ever encountered to select the sea lion as the number the producer of the foulest wind on earth.
So there you have it. Even more useful information you can share with your families over the holidays.
And remember:
If People are talking behind your back, FART!
