Just don’t understand how it was steem before and now it has to be a friend or second account

It is just for your safety. It was steem because your account was created by Steemit Inc and they were handling the recovery process. Justin Sun bought the company and we've switched to another chain. From now on, they will definitely reject to help you on this chain so, in case of any problem, you end up with nothing. If you set it to your friend or a second account, this account will be able to help you.