How come they have a bunch of cool cat emojis, but no dog ones with heart eyes and smiley faces? Is it the chauvinistic undertones of dogs being 'Man's Best Friend'? I'll never know. But I do know, that bitches love me. Well, him, anyway. He has the sweater to prove it. Do you want to argue with him?

At over seven feet long, I don't either. He is a sweetheart for the most part, but like any critter on earth, he does have his asshole moments. Like when he ate some of the cookies @inthenow just fucking sent me. I didn't love him very much for a few days. Son of a bitch. 🤣

He usually minds well enough. I'm not sure how much longer he'll be walking around this rock. He can't jump up and slam his elbows on my shoulders and give me big dog hugs anymore. He has trouble just standing up from the floor. Once he's up, he's like a puppy, but he's a lot slower to the playground now.

I did this calculator thingy and he is (in human years) 108 years and 5 months old. Being a Great Dane, he is already three years past the average expiration date for a canine of his caliber. So, he's getting away with more shit now. I envy him sometimes. Just does whatever the fuck he wants. I try but, society is a hinderance to my real me. So, while I try doing that, REMEMBER TO BE YOU! I always am, even if I have to play nice (sometimes).