PUSH
In the darkness of the tunnel Adira dug with her sword, they ventured back to the sterilized white vault. The wizard lion, stuck in a looping suicide thought pattern, dazed off, milky eyes on the freedom door. A red letter had fallen and one changed. It read: FREENO.
It opened.
“Poor old wizard, how tangled they have you?” Adira chopped the tubes going to the SECT-manifold. The blue substance spilled out on the floor. “No more suffering.” She nudged the clown king off her shoulder, and dropped him before the wizard's feet. “You have to send us back to the forbidden event, hey! Wake up, old wizard lion, we need you! Our world is threaten by the eternal flames of hell!”
“Ahuh? What?...My tubes, the swoosh, all gone now.” A sharp glance at Adira. “I know you! You're the one I was promised to meet. And here you are! Such a beautiful woman you are. And there is the clown, he's king now?”
“A false king, and clueless at that.”
“Ah,”
“He was in that stone wall pretty good, I hope he's not dead.”
“I wish I was dead. I asked the clown to kill me, but he wouldn't. I think he was too scared.”
“Dead? Why would you want that?”
“I was drained of my power and I couldn't do anything to help myself. The clown reminded me of this.”
“I wouldn't listen to the words of a clown with false eyes. You are wizard lion, and you haven't done anything you wanted to so, why don't you start by sending me and the clown back to the forbidden event?”
“What if I don't want to do that? What if I want to stay here and reconnect the tubes if no one has the decency to kill me? What if you took too long to meet me, Adira? After all this time, all the suffering, the oppression, is there anything worth saving? Look at me! There is no point in saving this, no point in saving anything out there either. Everything has it's end, and ours is now, just look around you. The sign over the door reads, freeno.”
Adira's nose flared and slapped the wizard lion. “What if everything isn't about what you want to do or how you feel? As a wizard, you have power and responsibility which is to serve your world and make it a better place than it was yesterday! Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get the fuck up! We're out here dying, trying to go beyond the horizon and you're holding us down, fuck you!”
“It's not my fault! I never asked for this! Turn the lights back off I've had enough!”
Another slap. “Snap out of it! Why do you listen to what the clown told you! He is a fool, relaying on others for his happiness and identity, blaming the world for his mistakes, taking no responsibility! You're here now so don't waste energy on pointless things! There's nothing else to do, but make things better, or you'll just let the world burn in hell? How dare you?! You find you're meaningless and useless because you were locked down here so you want the world to feel your pain, is that what it is? You feel powerful watching others suffer with you? As you lay there crying with the almighty ability to do what you were made to do, which is to be wizard lion! Only you know how to be a wizard lion! No one else can do what you can. It doesn't matter how old and weak you are! We're all busy enough with our own! To the forbidden event now!!”
“Easy for you to say, princess, you haven't dealt with the conditions and situations I've suffered! Where were you when the enemy captured me and I cried for help? You are privileged to have come experience in the time you do, you've gotten your own way since your birth. You have yet to live such experiences such as mine, only then, can you speak to me. The truth is that all your speech is nothing, but hot air, and it's already gone cold.”
Adira jumped on the bed and choked the wizard lion. “Your conditions aren't the reason you've suffered, but because you think it has complete power over you indefinitely. You wrap the chains around your neck and you conceived yourself of the chains by searching for validation of your slavery and the world's debt to you for your undesired state at every chance! Before you were born, you thought you were already doomed. Only evil prevails inside you because you let it consume you. The truth is energy has the potential to be creative and destructive, and you must choose at every moment. Life doesn't stop, and there is no sudden bang! Everything will be perfect, all I have to do is wait. No! The unknown is always coming, revealing itself to us every moment.”
The wizard lion protected himself by shielding his body with his arms and legs. She dragged him off the bed. He squeezed her neck. Claws retracted; the warm blood reaction leaked out. Pupil dilation, they saw each other naked.
“How could you? I love you, isn't this what you wanted?”
“You made me. I had no choice, you were choking me. I thought you were going to force me to live your life.”
She screamed, all her blood rushed out the holes in her neck, and her hands fell to her sides. She collapsed.
Jimmy stirred around in the floor, covered in the blood and blue substance. “Uh….My back...I think it's broken….”
The wizard lion, paralyzed on the floor, cried. I killed her. I did it, there's no going back now.
“Ahhh! Somebody help me! I can't stand on my own! Help! Anyone?” Jimmy grabbed the corner of the bed. “Where am I? The white vault...Oh goodness gracious! This woman is dead! I'm covered in her blood and blue liquid! Wizard! What is this?”
“I had no choice, she tried to kill me.”
“What? She freed you, you lair! You nefarious wizard, you have the nerve to kill someone else when it's you causing yourself all that pain!”
“Enough! What are we going to do now?”
“We?” Jimmy forced himself to stand.
“Well, you have to help me! I-I-I don't know what to do?!”
“Kill yourself goddamnit! I'm sick of you!”
The wizard lion stared at his bloodstained claws, cried some more. “No, no, n-no,” Heavy sobs. “Please, make it all stop!”
Jimmy stood over the wizard, yanked him up by the robe. “You are worthless, look at you! You don't even dare!”
“Nooo!” The wizard lion pawed the clown, broke free, and his eyes burned. He mustered all his wizardly might and cast a spell. Scahhblammm! Poof! Pow! Kaaaahblammmm!
Sunlight came through in lines from the blinds on the windows, the living room quiet and everything in it's own place. Jimmy and the wizard lion stood on a shelf by the front door, a lamp table under.
“What?” Jimmy's heart thumped his chest. “Why did yo-
Willis, the human, walked downstairs, checked himself in the mirror above and behind their heads. His eyes looked over them, and he reached out his hand to grab something at the end of the shelf. His sleeve pulled back, revealed his watch, and saw he was late; out the door and slammed shut.
The something at the end of shelf, forgotten, slumped.
“That's….me,” Jimmy darted over, extended a hand, but it jumped.
“Don't!” He fell on his stomach, looked over the edge. A leg bent in ways it shouldn't, arms broke, face disfigured, the toy jolted in bursts of pain. Jimmy grinded his teeth, clenched fists shook. “Bastard! You brought me back here to watch me suffer?!” He jumped up, and charged.
“Adira wanted me to take you here.”
“You compulsive lair! You're so sick!”
“The truth isn't pretty is it?”
Jimmy threw a punch.
Ducked under, the wizard hit Jimmy's chest, open paw. The clown flew backwards, landed on his behind. The wizard lion pressed forward, caught the clown with two more hits. “It's time for you to look at yourself!”
“No you!”
The wizard grabbed the back of Jimmy's head and jammed it against the bottom edge of the mirror; it tilted, wobbled, and unhooked from the nail and fell sideways, upright.
A crooked crown on a wicked face; false eyes glowed with the light of the world, old scars and stigma masked by the golden enigma. A clown king of gold.
Jimmy screamed. The mirror shattered.
“A ghastly sight eh?” The wizard lion picked up a piece of the mirror, saw himself, turned it over to face the clown. “It's not so fun when you realize you are worst than the ones you judge, is it? You knew what you were doing to the cockroach and you thought it was right!”
“Shut your fucking mouth! You still haven't looked at yourself long enough! Gimme that!” Jimmy tugged on the piece, the reflection face down.
The edges cut their hands, and it dropped to the ground.
“Aren't you supposed to be helping? Who am I kidding, you can't help yourself.”
“Like you told me, do it yourself coward!”
Jimmy picked up another broken mirror piece. The wizard lion readied another spell. To the head, the piece exploded, and the wizard fell off the shelf. The body bounced, brains oozed out. Breathless, Jimmy saw himself in the small bits of mirror scattered on the ground.
He looked at his past self, broken on the floor before the door. What have I come to be? Where am I going? Nowhere. I never had anywhere to go, never left.
There's plenty of other monsters lurking out there, waiting outside, some breaking in homes, others under the bed, is there anywhere else they haven't haunted? I knew eventually the game collapses in on it's self, and makes way for a new one in a painfully ugly phase. I just didn't know when, so I played my role well, and tricked the cockroach into suffering and thinking I didn't know who he was. Ended up tricking myself to suffer more, but we both seem to enjoy it because we don't stop suffering, we can't.
Look at me, here I am and I don't know what's really going on and why. Yet I like to act like I do. For the children in the stores that stare at me with those loving eyes, wanting love and protection, and I think, who me? I'm just a toy, child; I don't know, I want someone to love me, and I'm afraid too, but I can't let you see that, so I paint my face with a silly smile, a self-appointed crown on my head. And we try to play, to distract ourselves with different types of games, so we play hard, trying to make the loudest noise to block the monsters that call us by name. I am this and that, I am here and there, they/we/you, so many different games to play.
And when we walk out that door, we use our lenses, filtering what we want to see, sometimes trying to unsee; we put on uniforms and find comfort in them, like this king robe and clown suit, and cling on to them for dear life like a piece of wood from a shipwreck out in the tormented sea. The uniforms cover not only our bodies, but our minds; so many different thoughts and combinations of beliefs and action, which ones are the right ones? And are they the right ones all the time in every situation?
A clown question, I know. We have the knowledge inside our bodies, we don't remember or aren't aware of it, or maybe we do remember and are aware, and it's too much responsibility, too much effort, too much risk of failure, too scary. So who am I and what am I supposed to do? A clown toy that only fulfills it’s needs and dreams? Please the world? Well, I can't just sit here trying to figure it all out, I need to pick myself up from the floor because I put myself there, thinking it was the other way around, ha! Silly Jimmy the clown, a magnificent fool! Nothing is better than me, and I am not better than anything. Everything has it's own space, and it does it better than anything else, because everything else is busy being everything else, and doing a marvelous job too!
He leaned over the edge. How do I get down? If I fall, I'll be back where I started. The lamp table under me! He kneeled, hands gripped the edge. What if I miss?...I can't know unless I go. He tossed his lower half over the edge, sweaty fingers slipped and lost hold. His legs swung before him, arms flailed, feet over his head. He crashed into the lamp shade, slid off, smucked the table face-first.
Pain, such an intense burning sensation, and it can drive us to dark places if we are careless, because we have the ability to be still and overcome. The clown pushed himself up on his feet. The mushy brains of the wizard lion, more defined on the floor, screamed blood and injustice. I'm a worst monster than he was; he killed her and I killed him, and the problems and suffering remain. The poor wizard lion, he was locked in the vault, and didn't know anything other than his own perspective. He was speaking his own truth, his own suffering, was it his fault he could not see anything else but the darkness? I can't blame him because I've done the same. Even when he was set free, he was so used to captivity, he could not see. We'll always find something to complain about, we'll find a way to suffer, even when we get what we need and want.
So I was wrong in seeking to cause pain and death to Willis. Wrong in ignoring the cries of the wizard lion, wrong in feeling justified to strike him down, now I bear the burden of guilt and sped up to my own death. I must pick myself up from the floor, and make sure this doesn't happen again. He took the last jump off the lamp table. Landed on all fours, stumbled to stand upright, and fell on his knees.
A wave of ants seeped out from all directions of the house, and captured his past-self, only a sad glimmer of life left in him. They took him to the center of the living room, between the couch and television set. Jimmy followed.
“Jim: Good morning, humans.” The television turned on. A human-sized ant dressed in a bright red three-piece suit sat behind his desk. “Welcome to today's Marca-Marca show where everything is taken at face-value and is true fact. Everything is white and black, crystal clear good guys and bad guys, and we'll tell you who to love and hate! Today's show is proudly supported and brought to you by We Don't Give A Fuck, Give Us Your Money Bitch, and by Fuck Off, We'll Kill You If You Don't. And today's show is about how to live without dying in the new age? But before we get into that, here's Tom with an update.
Camera 2. A short chubby ant with a thick mustache and dressed in a suit two-times too small is standing in front of a world map
Tom: Well, right here ladies and gentlemen, we can see a lot of evil shit just brewing up here in the north, the east, south, west, just plain everywhere around the world, one hundred percent coverage. Wee-doggie! There's no hope, all our ancestors suffered and died because of evil shit like we see here today and it just keeps coming right your way. Nothing you can do about, but take it up the butt, so folks, don't forget your umbrellas and lube. I'll see you guys at seven-thirty with more, back to you Jim.
Jim: Thanks Tom, what a great day to get fucked up. Okay, now a quick commercial break.
Commercial: Do you suffer from severe bitchiness? Do you blame others for your own feelings and problems? Do you expect the world to do what you want all the time? Do you expect the world to wipe your ass? Well, try the BitchSlap pill, this shit will wake your bitch-ass right on up like no other pill on the market! Ask your doctor if BitchSlap will send you to next Tuesday or next year's Tuesday or into a coffin. Common side-effects include, but are not limited to the following: Severe swelling and bruising of the face, concession, humility, common sense, personal responsibility, and death. Not all users experience the same results, please only consult with a professional scam artist if BitchSlap is right for you. These are paid actors dressed as red sore assholes.
Jim: We interrupt this commercial break because we can, and people need to know how to live without dying, right now! Tom! Okay, but first we have a special guest, Lil Bill Joe Billy Williams.
A tiny ant, two six-shooters strapped around waist, cowboy hat and bandana around neck, walks out waving at the camera, uses a tiny elevator on the side of Jim's desk to reach the top and sit on his own custom guest chair
Jim: How's it going Bill? How ya doing?
Bill: Oh horrible! I can't breath!
Jim: Well what's wrong?
Bill: Gravity is crushing me down man!
Jim: Oh god! I think gravity has got me too!
Bill: Oh but you don't understand. I'm on the brink of annihilation, always have been. People don't give a fuck, just walk wherever no thought in their mind about a little motherfucker like me. My colony was stomped out and hosed down by a little five year old bitch ass kid.
Jim: Well, I-I get treated like shit if I don't wear the most prestigious and expensive clothes to work.
Bill: That's tough man, I dunno about that fancy lifestyle, but I reckon it's got it's own kind of snake bites. You know, I think all the oppressed need to join together and defeat the evil forces out there in the world that keep us all down.
Jim: A great idea! Let's all get together and become coldblooded savages and tell everyone how to live and make mindless clones out of everyone!
Bill: Yeah! We can solve all the world's problems! Save babies, save grandmas and grandpas, live off renewable energy, cure all diseases, give everyone a home and food, education and a better life! We can do it all!
Jim: Ahh, yes! Save the world! Everyone gets to live forever peacefully in harmony! Lazy or hardworking, you get the same rewards!
Bill: Yeah, yeah, and everyone has a minimum of ten pounds of their favorite shit at all times!
Jim: Hahaha, yeah, that would be nice. Okay, fuck you Bill. Are you trying to take my job? You're taking away my camera-money son! Don't play with muh money. Slaps ant off-stage Alright, now for the today's big question how to live without dying? Quick answer, you can't. Long answer, let's not go there. Tom! Say something vague so it looks like we know what we're doing.
Tom: Love is the answer to all the world's problems.
Jim: Weewoo-hotdoggie! Now that was simply stunning. I didn't know you had it in you Tom, honestly. You're a hopeless fool that will die alone and go to hell with all your love. But, man that was a great glimpse of the nonsense you come up with, hahaha! This ant is a fucking moron!
Tom: You know what Mr. Jim, I quit. I'm done reading your lines and being a stepping stool. I'll star in my own damn show and it'll be ten times better than this garbage. I hope you have to live in a box for the rest of your miserable life!
Jim: Bitch! You can't quit! We own you and you owe us time! All those forward payments we've given you to bail you out of your financial crises, you will stand there and work with a smile like the good little money-whore you are.
Tom: I've waited for this day. Rips suit and shirt off to reveal a bomb strapped to his chest Now we're gonna see who the real boss is motherfucker. Hands up!
Jim: You won't. You can't kill anyone or you would've done it by now. Look at your sorry-ass, you agreed to the terms and still bitch, and you want to star in your own show, but you put a bomb on your chest. You think you'll leave a bigger impact getting attention with a cheap flash bang?! You owe us time, and if you die we'll make sure your kids inherit your debt with triple interest.
Tom: I've killed them all months ago and secretly mixed in little bite sized pieces of them into your meals here at work. Like I said, I've been waiting, get on the ground youpieceofshit!
Jim: You sick fuck! No wonder I always felt queasy and had the shits after eating, thought I had a deadly alien growing in my stomach about to rupture out my butthole! Call the law!
Tom: No! Presses detonation button, bomb purrs and a cloud of black smoke pollutes the air What's wrong?!
Jim: Laughing uncontrollably Oh a perfect example of how useless you are! I actually have pity for you.
Lawman with super-powered rifle pokes his head out of left bottom corner of camera 1's screen, aiming
Tom: I have a backup! Hits second detonation button
GUNSHOT Tom's head explodes
Jim: Ahh, ya got shit all over the stage now!
Lawman: Silence! I'll tell you right from wrong! Everything I say is undeniable truth, and this ant was going to get us all killed! The law had to force order, that's what it's here for. The whole world needs law, it keeps the innocent save, and serves justice. There is no other way, we all must obey the law.
Jim: Hmm, how about I give you this and you get off my show. Reaches under desk and tosses a fat wad of money to the Lawman
Lawman: The law protects us all. I must stay here and patrol to ensure the safest experience for everyone. Starts to march up and down the stage
Jim: No, get off my show! People don't want to see you! They want to see comedy, drama, tragedy, romance. This isn't being viewer friendly, we're losing money! Here's some more. Tosses a bunch of fat wads of cash at Lawman
Lawman: The democracy of the little green people have spoken, and our order has become tyranny, we will come to terms and will relax. I will stand off to the side and have you all report to me every hour so that I can further ensure your safety so that you all can live a less stressful life. Walks off-stage and stands besides camera 1
Jim: As long as you're not taking away all my income and protect it to last me forever, I guess it's okay. I'll still be able to choose what car I drive in traffic and what socks I wear, and how many waffles I eat for breakfast and how much syrup I use on them. I'll still be able to go to my own home after work and watch any and as many reruns on my TV, release my anger on my wife and neglect my children, everything is fine in my world, I don't have to think for myself! How about we have communion and give thanks to the perfect human concept that blessed us all by descending down from the heavens to earth to die for our sins. Praise the all powerful and holy perfect human, he saved everyone in the studio here today by creating Tom as a dumbass, and we thank the perfect human for sending people like Tom, evil people that do not want to believe and accept the perfect human as their one and only savior and that are lost in sin, straight to the flames of hell for eternity as we blessed believers go to the golden kingdom of heaven and get everything we want and never get sick or die! Burn, sinners, burn! Hahaha!
Yelling from behind the stage. A man dressed in a Santa Claus suit with a machine gun walks on stage
Guy in Santa Claus suit: Err! You're mistaken! You've been duped by the devil himself! I worship the true perfect human concept. The one you follow is false and a lazy copy of mine which has been known longer than yours which automatically validates the fact that my perfect human is the one and only, and you and your followers are heathens that need to convert or die!
Jim: You are from Satan. I will kill you with the help of my best friend.
Top-less woman with a red A drawn on her stomach and assault rifle runs on-stage
Woman: No, you're both wrong! You've moved away from the core messages and become what you hate. You've created wars between neighbors, between fathers and sons, mothers and daughters! And it's almost the same core messages presented! We're all one, everything is one!
Jim: Oh geez, the new age bullshit comes back with a vengeance. Why do we let crazy bitches on-stage?
Guy in Santa Claus suit: To shoot'em down.
A business woman walks on stage
Business woman: No, we let them on the stage so we can profit off their labor, take away from their own profits earned by their own merits, and laugh at them. We all know there is no one power, everything started with a bang. Everything randomly added up perfectly to create environments with life with no divine plan, everything is up to chance. Hell, a creepy clown could clog your toilet and use all your toilet paper and eat all your snacks right now without you even knowing! Or how about a hot steaming pile of shit from a commercial plane covering your house? Or space junk ripping you a new asshole, hmm? Ever think about that?
Jim: Heathen, you are so stupid you've conceived yourself and others you're smart. Santa Claus shoot the bitch!
Lawman: Put the weapons down or I'll shoot!
Guy in Santa Claus suit and top-less woman: Eat bullets!
EXPLOSION
Camera eight. The whole studio is waste. A dark spot where Tom was
Channel Announcer: Today's show is proudly supported by We Don't Give A Fuck, Give Us Your Money Bitch, and by Fuck off, We'll Kill You If You Don't. Have a good day!” The television turned off.
That was pure rubbish. Jimmy stood transfixed before the television, brain fizzling. What kind of disability do they want the viewers to develop? They've all gone rabid mad over trivial matters that distract, stuck in the mud and mire of one perspective. I had a good life until this day. Where did I go wrong?
When I jumped off the shelf. The ants only picked me up because I was there, and now I'm here again, and I will stop them.
The ants carried the past-self half-way up the stairs.
Jimmy raced to the stairs and to his old self. He stepped over the ants, pulling him off their backs.
He flew backwards, past-self free in the air. Jimmy tumbled head over heels, and stopped at the bottom. The ants scattered away, afraid of the unexpected power.
The past-self shattered on the floor. Jimmy wept.
All the pain, for nothing, you've broken yourself. He dragged himself to the pieces. I never wanted this. I can't fix this!
The front door opened and shut again, a black blur flashed by.
Up on the shelf, a clown toy sat on the corner, slumped over looking down. An ant of the same height stood behind the toy. Thunder cracked, lighting flashed, and rain poured outside the windows.
Not again, I can't watch this again. Why does this keep happening?
The ant booted the clown toy off the shelf.
Thud. Jolt. Jolt.
Jimmy dragged himself over to the toy under the eyes of the ant. What do I have to do to stop this?
The ant dropped down from the shelf in front of him, before the past-self. “Your legs are broken, and your life is on a turntable, what do you have to say for yourself?”
“I made it this far.” Jimmy grabbed the ant's legs and climbed his way up on his own two feet. “I will keep on going.”
The ant chuckled. “So you know the rules a bit better, can you execute the right move at the right time all the time? That's what we'll see.” He chomped, grabbing Jimmy.
The clown ducked his head and pushed away. Eight legs handled him, and he headbutted the crown into the ant's thorax, green goo gushed out. Jaws clamped down on the sides of the head. Screaming, he thrust his arm into the hole and ripped the insides out. The ant shook him violently.
Against the door, his head smacked, his corpse before the ant.
And the show goes on. The clown's golden head lived. I'm only a viewer now. The ant is dying, but still devouring my body.
TO BE CONTINUED.......