It sounds like you’re describing a situation where your outward calmness leads people to underestimate your emotional struggles. It’s understandable why you might feel like you need to keep your emotions hidden, especially if you believe others might use them against you. It’s important to remember that everyone has their own way of coping and processing feelings, and it’s okay to show vulnerability to those you trust. Your emotional experiences are valid, and it’s perfectly fine to express them in a safe and supportive environment. Thanks for sharing dear, do have a lovely day