Marriage is considered one of the greatest human relations and marital duty of every individual. A practice existing for centuries before the birth of civilisation. Different religions with their definitions of marriage inscribed in the holy book. Has civilisation grew among populace of earth which also influence the way people engage in marriage and it's meaning.
I grew up knowing marriage as a union between husband and wife, family, entities and organisation. Regardless of its nature and practice, it became clearer to me that less emphasis are placed on degree of affection between the couple's, the measure of compatibility of a couple among many other things, has never been about love. Though different individuals have different ways of ensuring both couples are compatible before marriage, through spiritual means and individual or family asset display, depending on the agenda of both families.
In this present generation, the practice and concept of marriage has become chaotic and unethical unlike how it was practiced honourably in the olding days. As days goes by, cases and issues of divorce has sky rocket to the extent that I find myself thinking about the reasons behind this union in this first place. There are a lot of reasons behind the cause of divorce but most importantly I'm interested in factors to consider before embarking on divorce.
Though a lot of people disagree with my perspective of marriage, which they consider to be delusional but I still continue to believe that marriage is a choice not a necessity. I strongly believe the reason behind the union between husband and wife will eventually dictate how the whole union will play out.
Sadly in this present generation or century, we have a lot of people getting married for the wrong reasons such as peer pressure, parental influence, monetary and properties ownership, kinship e.t.c. Without considering that marriage is a life long journey between a husband and wife, without significant or tangible reason for union between spouse, when other reasons such as money eventually fades away, eventually the desire to remain United fades away also.
In my hometown, there is a trending act called single mothers or baby mama. In the olding days this act was considered immoral and unethical among couples, I do not blame all women who end up finding themselves in a relationship with irresponsible men but for some they are very aware of the state of mind of their spouse before getting married to them, most especially in this era when men get involved in explicit act in order to get money and this is a major magnet that attract most men depriving them from thinking about the future a union with some who lies for a living.
On the long run, they make themselves and their children victims of unhealthy union as a result of their greed for things that glitters. I have grown to despise marriage due to its abusive nature and how it is practiced nowadays, I see a lot of young men, women and children who are victims of unhealthy marriages that could have been avoided.
For those who are parents understand how tasking the job is, even with both parents available it still remains a difficult task. Now thinking of an absent parent, I mean there are children who were raised by a single parents due to divorce and they turn out to be alright and those that were raised by both parents but their turn out wasn't that good. The facts remains for most children being raised by a single parents, either mother or father there is always something missing in them that signifies that a particular form of authority was missing in their lives while they were growing up. It might not be physical but something psychological.
There is something most parents don't know, no amount of parenting is too much for a child and children tends to have different kinds of composure. Some children are strong-willed that no amount of pressure due to an absent parent will break them but there are some who will feel the need of a father or mother at any stage of their lives. For instance, the ability of a child to express their thoughts to their parents always differs and In most cases it depends on which parents they feel is in the best position to understand or relate to how they feel at the moment. This proves how events such as divorce can affect children psychologically.
I'm not disregarding the facts that parents don't go through pain during the process of divorce. I have seen cases of couples who decided to keep their marriage despite how toxic it became. At the long run, such a parent end up meeting a devastating end. Based on my own opinionated perspective, compared to a parent's pain from divorce, a child's trauma who happens to be the victim of the divorce always last longer. Parents are adult, which means their minds is already built in such a way that it can withstand pressure compared to children who are still young and feeble minded.
When considering divorce I believe parents should consider the implications of their actions, on their children before taking the step. Even if divorce can't be avoided, they should still try to maintain a peaceful and United front while gradually letting the children get used to the whole changes that is occurring in the marriage. This will reduce the effect of the divorce on the children.
This write-up was inspired by weekly featured content titled Divorce in hive learners community.
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