As humans we all have different personality traits that differentiates us from one another, which tends to dictate how we react towards matters of great importance and also influence our instinct in choosing which matter is worthy of our attention. We humans are social beings, which means our existence depend on interaction with our environment. Amidst the process of interacting, we are bound to have all manner of unhealthy conversations with people.
In the history of mankind and at every point in time, one of the many ways in which humans achieve incredible result is through deliberation. Which doesn't always comes easy, deliberations sometimes can be considered as an alternative form of conflict orientated arguments amidst individuals or groups of people. It might not be known to many but not all conflict is violence oriented. Conflict have different stages and it grows into violence over time if not attended to.
We humans are of different personalities and perspective, which can be as a result of difference in our demographic variables. It is considered the beauty of humans, our ability to generate our meaning to things in life without having to depend or follow other people's definition of things. Which means what looks like "9" to a person can be "6" to another. As beautiful as this might seems, it also happens to be one of the greatest issues among humans. It takes quality time for people with different opinions to to come to a single conclusion.
This is where the need of deliberation comes and like I said this deliberations does not come easy. This is where the need for conflict is needed. We humans can go to any length to ensure others understand our perspective regarding a particular subject, especially if the subject is tantamount to our survival. It always start from we verses them, till eventually we are able to arrive at a ground that would benefit all parties.
The reasons for this argument remains the same, which is to arriving at a productive conclusion. It makes you wonder, if a conversation or deliberation or conflict is not initiated for the sake of achieving something meaningful then what will be the point of it? Which means not all arguments are initiated for the right reasons, some are just as a result of misplaced priorities. All arguments might seem the same but not all deserves our attention.
How do I settle an argument? It mostly depends on the situation and the purpose of the argument. One thing I always try to make people understand is that, the fact that we both have different opinions about a specific subject does not make us enemies. It just proves that we are both humans with a working brain. Most times people tends to consider others with contrary opinion to theirs as rivals which is not meant to be so, we are both trying do what is best for each other and there shouldn't be a reason to fight over that.
When tackling an argument, I try as much as possible to first understand the angle the person is coming from, try to see the situation from the person's shoes. Some people might not really know how to explain themselves but I try as much as possible to listen. After that, I try to explain my own perspective to the person after I have carefully evaluated the person's opinion. I always try as much as possible to make the person understand that "I hear you but you should also hear my perspective. The moment I am able to achieve this then the situation is within resolution.
How do you know which argument is worth fighting for? Like I explained earlier, before getting involved in an argument not to talk of resolving it, I would first define the purpose of the argument. If the argument was never meant for a productive reason, I will never get involved the first place and also if the resolution of the argument is not meant for general purpose I would definitely abstain from it. And the reason is that, getting involved in arguments that doesn't really have meaningful reason to start with, it would only end up in being ridiculed.
This write-up was inspired by weekly featured content titled "Settling an argument" in hive learners community.
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