Communication is considered an important tool in the lives of humans but then, our ability to communicate is dependent on each individual personality. For a "being" like me, the issue has never been about communicating but how it is used. A lot of times, I have had the opportunity to discuss about my personality on this platform, I feel like the more i pour out my buried thoughts, the more I learn about my own personality.
I'm the kind of person that enjoys the company of myself to a degree that has become concerning. Recently a long time friend of mine called me an "house plant" he was upset about my lack of socialising physically ever since I got back from NYSC and understanding where his concerns are coming from, I just smiled and let it slide. I mean how do I explain, who I have always been or how good I have become at it.
You see, when it comes to ghosting people, it is not something I would say I do intentionally, it just comes naturally for me, does that make any sense? I mean it is not something I do to hurt people or prove anything, it just happens when I stop reaching out to people because I'm so occupied with my own thoughts that there is no room for no else. It is a state of mind I can't really explain, engaging in specific activities is not really my thing.
Ghosting is all about sudden disappearance from people's life, without giving them any aheads up. Just like a typical ghost attitude, the disappearing act. Like I have said, my mind is a case study which I have dedicated my entire life to study, a consistent journey of self evaluation, reflection and discovery. We humans we all have all kinds of personality, while some might just live with whatever they are, I prefer to understand my own nature.
Based on this I realise, ghosting is a language my "being" speaks fluently. The most funny aspect of this is that, whenever I manage to be in any social gathering or be with people, I'm the kind of person with the personality that just lights up the whole place, I mean I can be funny sometimes, with my jovial personality it makes it a lot easier to make friends but the issue is keeping them.
The moment I leave a gathering that is it, I just go my own way, or else there is a reason for me to continue conversing with a person or I extremely like a person to the extent that my likeness for the person overpower my mind natural ghosting mechanism, this is the only case I can remain in touch with someone and it happens rarely, either offline or online.
The good news is, since online engagement does not really warrant physical appearance, I have gotten better with keeping friends online and I have made many especially on hive. But when it comes to people around me physically, I have succeeded in ghosting about 98% of them all and remaining 2% is my immediate family, they never fail to drag me around with them or reach out if I didn't, if not I might have ghosted them somehow.
It is not that I don't care, I don't just consider excessive interaction as a show of care or affection, it is something I do only when I want to, not because I'm demanded to do so. The moment I feel like the interaction is moving faster than my own pace or one-sided, my mind start feeling the need to withdraw and so it happens gradually or immediately. When people reach out to me for anything, I reply immediately without wasting time, which also applies to the rate at which I respond to all the comments on my post lol..
Thanks to hive, I can say it has help boost my engagement skill but outside hive blog, it is a different story entirely. Reaching out to people has always been the issue and believe me, I have tried but I just realise it is not really my thing and anytime I try forcing it, I suddenly feel I'm acting out of character and it weigh heavily on my conscience. People who don't understand mostly consider my inability to reach out as pride but they have succeeded in judging me wrongly.
I wouldn't consider it as something drastic for me, it is just my default setting. I only reach out when I have something important to discuss because conversation that starts with; "How are you" and ends with "Fine" and then "ok", repeating the same circle over and over again with everyone, it creeps out. Why reach out to people when you have nothing tangible to discuss, this is my foundation of my ghosting act, is it reversible? probably if I get brain swapped and I don't see that happening.
This write-up was inspired by weekly featured content titled Ghosting in hive learners community.
Cover image - 𝖣𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗏𝖺
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