The raw, harsh and painful truth / La verdad cruda, dura y dolorosa (esp-eng)
Hello, girls!
One of the hardest things to teach children is the truth. To always tell the harsh, harsh, and sometimes painful truth.
My children were always honest. I taught them that from a young age. Sometimes they were too honest and said things, the truth, to everyone's face. And sometimes, it's uncomfortable.
How do I explain to them that sometimes it's better not to tell the truth?
When do I tell it, and how?
We always respond. But sometimes it's better to remain silent than to tell this truth.
Over the years, they'll learn from this.
It's also difficult for them to understand that they have to tell us the truth, even when it incriminates or harms them.
On those occasions, we tell them they have to tell the truth, first, because lies always get exposed (in the long or short run), and second, because if we catch them lying, then we will lose trust.
And that, if lost, is very difficult to recover.
Luckily, they're smart and good kids. When I was a teenager, my mother never understood me, and I didn't have the communication I have with my children, or the one my husband maintains with them.
I always tell them that they have to tell me the truth at all times; no one loves them more than I do, and no one will defend them more than I will. Even if they're wrong.
That's why we talk a lot, and I give them the confidence to talk to me about everything without judging them. I also always tell them the truth, even if they don't like it.
Only the truth will make them grow and improve. It's no use telling them they're playing well when they're not. It's no good telling you that you're not studying well enough.
Quite the opposite.
When I tell you to study well enough, I'm helping you.
I treat you with the truth and I only ask this: The truth.
Be honest with yourselves. Respect yourselves and respect us. That's the only way we can trust each other.
Hugs to everyone 馃槝
Versi贸n en espa帽ol
Hola, chicas!
Una de las cosas m谩s dif铆ciles de ense帽ar a los hijos, es la verdad. Decir siempre la cruda, dura y en ocasiones, dolorosa verdad.
Mis ni帽os siempre fueron honestos. A eso les ense帽茅 desde peque帽os. A veces eran demasiado homestos y dec铆an las cosas, las verdades en la misma cara de los dem谩s. Y en ocasiones, es algo inc贸modo.
驴C贸mo explicarle que en ocasiones es mejor no decir la verdad?
驴Cu谩ndo se dice, c贸mo?
Siempre, les respondemos. Pero en ocasiones es mejor quedarse callado en lugar de decir esta verdad.
Con los a帽os aprender谩n de esto.
Tambi茅n es dif铆cil que entiendan que nos tienen que decir la verdad, incluso cuando eso los incrimina o perjudica.
En esas ocasiones les decimos que tienen que decir la verdad, primero, porque las mentiras siempre se descubren ( a la larga o a la corta), y segundo, porque si los atrapamos mintiendo, entonces perderemos la confianza.
Y eso, si se pierde, cuesta mucho recuperarla
Por suerte son muchachos inteligentes y buenos. Cuando yo era adolescente, mi madre nunca me entend铆a y no ten铆a la comunicaci贸n que tengo yo con mis hijos , o la que mi esposo mantiene con ellos.
Siempre les digo que tienen que decirme la verdad en todo momento; ya que nadie los ama m谩s que yo y nadie los va a defender m谩s que yo. Incluso, si no tienen la raz贸n.
Por eso conversamos mucho y les doy la confianza necesaria para que me hablen de todo sin juzgarlos. Tambi茅n yo siempre les digo la verdad aunque no les guste.
Solo la verdad los har谩 crecer y mejorar. De nada me vale decirle que est谩n tocando bien cuando no es as铆. De nada me vale decirles que no estudian que est谩n bien as铆.
Todo lo contrario.
Cuando les digo que estudien que est谩n mal los estoy ayudando.
Los trato con la verdad y solo les pido eso: La verdad.
Sean sinceros con ustedes mismos. Resp茅tense y resp茅tennos. Esa es la 煤nica manera de confiar mutuamente.
Un abrazo a todos 馃槝.