ellieguzman

It’s common to hear about child stars that became famous before they were ten years old and end up spreadeagled in front of a Hollywood nightclub a decade later, cameras shoved in their faces, bleached

People want to hear about carnage and gore. That’s why we had the Coliseum all those years ago, right? People want to watch from high up in the stands while those in the sand are bathed in blood. It’s

Mine was Tina from Bob's Burgers! Those are my actual prescription glasses so I guess Tina and I really do have something in common. I wish I'd gotten bangs though. I'm fully aware that it's June right

Hi everyone! My name is Ellie Guzman and I love writing, science, and comedy. Oh and wine. Oh and Hot Cheetos. Oh and anaphora. My plans for Steemit are to post pieces that are funny, interesting, and

Girl on top? Excuse me, I signed up for sex, not CrossFit. My legs look and feel like two Twinkies that melted together so the only way I can pull this feat off is by squatting like I’m pooping in the