I was not told that love would be easy. I was not told it would be hard either. If anything, I felt pressured to take a leap of faith, and that just happened to be you. I had walked the lonely path for too long, so I knew what it felt like to be alone. There were times I craved the solitude, other days it was like an irritating fly buzzing aimlessly about a still room, or even a drunk roommate who would not stop snoring and kept pushing me off the bed. But gallantly, I walked the lonely path. Maybe I walked with the hope of getting out someday, or maybe it was with fear that this was to be my fate or neither. But walk I did. And just when I had had it with being by myself, a ray of hope shone through the thick woods, and I saw you smile at me, and stretch your hand towards me. I must have looked behind to find who it was you called out to, only to come right back to my own reflection. You must have been amused at my few seconds of self deprecation, but that's what you get from a lonesome fellow like me.
I hurriedly grabbed your hand. You smiled, hugged me tight and called me home. I closed my eyes and rested my weary head on your shoulder; my wanderings having come to an end. And so it all began for us; I rushed at your love with as much vigor as hunger could afford me. You loved how fiercely I love you right back, you even reveled in its seeming wholesomeness. Our intertwined arms never meaning to let each other go; we felt complete.
But slowly, I eroded your existence and permeated your every wakeful consciousness. You started to not to know where you ended and I began. Our once parallel realities had formed multiverses of the same experiences such that they left you with foreboding for butterflies in the pit of your stomach. Soon, you began to crave days without me while I wanted nothing more than to be with you totally. You rebelled at the idea of increased intimacy; I was yet to realize that you had just about had it with our attachment. I fought against the thought of being separate from you; it brought fears of the lonely path I'd just escaped. Our connectivity became rickety but I fought hard still, and you continued to recoil from me.
Thus, we walked blindfold into the strait-jacket and fought ourselves to no end. One minute, we were together; walking the sandy beach with the sun riding low on our backs, next thing, I was back at the mouth of the lonely path with an inclement weather blowing hard on me; yes, just me as you had left. Because I was not prepared to love you the way you should have been loved, I got carried away by my fear of losing you only to lose you.
Nobody said love was easy. Nobody said if you held on too tight, you might end up choking what you have in your hand. I know that now because the crunching sound of fallen leaves sing back my failure to me as I trudge down in despair.
