Hey, look, I got a lot of welcome messages and I am glad for that and all, but sadly I won't be able to reply to everyone or check the website often. First reason for this is because I'm using a VPN to even be here. Second is that I'm always tired cause of full time job. And third, I honestly don't know what to do here. Let's actually talk about it.
While I appreciate all the attention and all, this place seems more like one of those places where you can share moments from your life and upload some of your work. That being said, my productivity is nothing, I don't make anything to show (mostly because I don't finish stuff usually). Perhaps it is my depression or philosophy, but it's extremely hard to fight the "doesn't matter if I do or don't do something - nothing will ever change" sentence. I have to get an external reason to work usually, that might be some emotional event or a new experience I fall in love in for the first few weeks. In other words, in my "default" mood I just can't work too much. And that's where you come in!
I mean... Uh...
For a very long time I felt the need of someone to get excited of my work. Now, now, I'm a "the best and only good marketing is cooperation, no lies or overpromises should ever exist" kinda guy, but the harsh reality is that my projects don't inspire me, they cause self doubt and other discouraging feelings. But whenever I show my ideas to a friend and that friend gets excited, saying how awesome and amazing my stuff is, becomes actually interested - that's where I get the will to work. So I thought, you know, Hive might be a great idea to find at least someone who would care about my work, but I can only keep this fake mask of a nice person for so long, eventually people will see how I am and will probably really hate me for that. So, maybe, at least for a few weeks before that happens I can get my final set of doses of motivation, hehe.
It's been so long, I don't remember what I wrote in my previous post (and loading time is so slow, I'd rather not click too many extra things lol), but I used FL Studio for 7 years and I know a thing or two. I can do some character design and writing if needed too. The thing I can't do is code. Anything. At all. Ever. Even though I completed some coding game back at school and got a weird childish diploma for finishing it the fastest. Maybe I'm not too hopeless but alas. Also I am broke and don't like talking to people too much.
So, that's the interesting bit (I hope). I've been thinking of making a splatterpunk / steampunk / gothic style adventure game in AGS for a while. Given how I don't want to live for too long I might not have enough time to make it, but at least I'll try to... uh, make a txt file explaining everything or something? I was inspired by the idea of a Dark Fantasy but from all the games I've seen or heard about in that genre I've never had the experience I wanted to get. And by that I mean some actually dark plot that isn't scared of showing or telling anything - the horror of our own being. No Dark Fantasy I know has ever been deep enough, plot-ty enough, you know, dark enough. Splatterpunk is not my favorite thing though, I'm more into Industrial post apocalypses with horror factories where robots kill people and everyone dances cybergoth moves. But oh well. Still, the combination of gore, machine and mutantious abominations seem to be working together well. And so I set on a journey to make a game about a virus that represents us who we are for real - just filthy biological animals, mortal organisms whose job is to fertilize future life (which means as long as we're alive we're always going to be depressed because we can't perform our natural duty because we simply don't rot before we die), creatures, that are also mortal. I also added some ideas of how would our society operate if humans weren't the "top of the food chain" as they say. What if there was not just another intelligent race, but one that sees food in humans? Sounds interesting, right?
...Yeah, everyone says that. Everyone calls my ideas awesome and then ghosts me for half a year because "you know, school". Besides, splatterpunk, dark fantasy, rebellious me who doesn't want to follow standards and pushes the limits of what you can be like before someone calls the cops - yeah, all these things make my game idea lose any kind of following or interest from my friends. I guess people prefer comfort over art. Perhaps us screaming that being inoffensive and playing it safe is boring is just us being dumb. Perhaps those stupid kid animated movies without characters, yet filled with product placement are the actual thing our society wants. And no, I am not going to become a second Slighter (check out that musician's bio) so it's not like anything depends on me. Yet, I just want to try to make this a game, even if it's going to offend everyone and be considered 180+, Rated N for Nobody type of experience.
In the end I gotta say that please don't get excited or expect too much from me. I have no experience with AGS, I am a horrible artist (while I can make decent character art I cannot make it consistently or draw backgrounds) and I don't even have a place where something like my game could ever be allowed to exist, aside from torrents I assume. And even then that's not something I consider my number 1 idea to be; doing creative stuff is just a way to make time pass. I can waste days rewatching the same video game essays or playing the same games that suddenly got fun for a week. I'm also quite hertbroken and I've lost hope so I need some time to cry in misery too sometimes lol
I just wanna know, how should I tag my posts from now on? I don't personally believe that NSFW stuff exists, but my twisted ideology doesn't belong to everyone, so for those who believe in NSFW, how should I tag them? And how should I tag my posts entirely, is there a list or do I just write random related words like "writing", "game development" (or "gamedev", perhaps?), etc. How fun would if be if the newbie guide explained that but my brain is too tired from work that I can't even understand what I'm reading? Anyway, thanks for your time, see you in a week I guess. There's also an episode 5 of Murder Drones coming out tomorrow, so no time for game dev just yet! c':
