You are very very funny! 😆
Some of your lines I rate below with the number of LOLs.
By all means, these are just a few I took out, not saying the rest isn't funny. It was!

BTW, cheese and fridge. My advise is indeed: Never in the fridge, orrrrr at least, leave the cheese out of the fridge to warm up to room temperature before eating. Many cheeses are soooo creamy which can best be tasted at room temperature. When cold from the fridge, the creamy taste is somewhere at sleep and will not reach our senses. The tricky thing with cheese outside the fridge is to Eat It within a few days, or never touch the cheese with 'dirty' fingers and/or utensils.

This thing is so sweet it feels like I am drinking cake.

😆😆😆

You have an absurdly unhealthy snack with no nutritional value.

😆😆

I guess dogs have hyper sensitive tongues or something.

Orrrr, they know what it feels when doing the number 2, hours to a day past the eating 😆

I hope you succeed even though the odds of resolutions actually working are very very small.

So true. They even say, never start any resolution at Jan 1st. Best start is the first Monday after the new year. That said, how boring to think of resolutions at the end of last year and the beginning of a new year. Too many do this. Though a flock of sheep has a nice view and feel to it, never become part of the herd, is my credo 🥳