'move closer, I told her. It was a cold June night, probably the coldest in three years Titilayo and I had been in matrimony. The thick cardigan I wore seem not to block the cold air that pierced my bone marrow as I shivered inside of it. On the contrary, she withdrew herself and faced the other side of the bed.
'Did you not hear me? ' I asked.
'I am not deaf' she answered rather harshly. She moved her body a bit farther from me allowing the blanket to fall between us. For the past three years Titilayo had been married to me, never had she acted this way, I was surprised at the tone with which she had spoken. I had gone hunting just to surprise her on this day which was our third anniversary.
'Is this the best way to celebrate our anniversary? ' I asked, trying not to ruin the night.
'How else?' she answered with a question that seems not to show any emotions.
'Is anything wrong? ' I tried to find out. My legs were almost frozen from the evening cold. I adjusted the blanket to cover my legs and tried to hold her, gently she slid my hands off her shoulders.
'of course, everything is wrong, can't you see that for yourself? ' she turned to face me, 'we are celebrating the third anniversary of our marriage with no fruit to look at, Folake who got married a few days ago is already pregnant.
I sat up, no longer conscious of the cold evening. Her words began to trouble my mind. I was tempted to look for a box of match to light so that I could have a look at her. We have both talked and agreed on this and concluded to put it in our prayers. What was wrong, I asked myself. She was all lively and happy this morning before I left for hunting. Anger welled up in me but just before I could blurt out, she began to weep.
'I was at the river today when Dare and Ayo's mum insulted me calling me a barren woman' she said amid sobs. Why would failure to have a child be regarded as a crime, it is a pity people enjoy the pastime of talking about others. I have heard side talks criticizing my predicaments but I haven't taken that to mind, maybe because I am a man
'Dele, I want a child, ' my wife said. She had stopped weeping now.
'I also want one' I told her.
'I want to be pregnant within a month from today.' my heart leaped.
'Am I God to decide period? '
'surely there can be a way to do that, my pride and honor as a human being, more so as a woman has eroded. I must have them restored. '
Her words pierced my heart, I could feel the pain fresh as if being cut with a knife. I haven't been deliberate about not having children, I want to but I am no God.
'how do you know you are capable of having children,? Your late brother left no child. All my sisters and brother who got married have children except me. What does that say? '.
'it says nothing' I responded
'it does, it shows you're the problem'
'If I am indeed the problem, how do you expect me to get you pregnant in three months?'.
She stayed silent as if trying to think a way out. 'we haven't run out of options' she finally spoke out.
'And what is that?' I asked curiously.
'Fisi'.
'what?' I couldn't believe this was coming from her, I had always thought her to be a dedicated Christian, what devil had gotten into her. It had never crossed my mind that one day I would sink so low as to go to the extent of hiring another man to make my wife pregnant. I couldn't imagine it.
'I can't do it.' I heard myself saying loudly
'Then I have no choice but to end this marriage, think about it deeply Dele, I could end this marriage, marry another man who will get me pregnant but what will people think of you, a proven infertile man. It is for honor, Dele, yours and mine, my fellow women wouldn't regard me as childless anymore, the same with you, you'll be treated like a real man. It's for our honor.' she paused probably waiting for my reaction.
To be continued...