Well I have not been through that same pain, so I can only empathize with you. I know the love of a parent for a child, so I can begin to imagine the loss. My wife and I decided when we had our first in October 2019 that he would not be vaccinated with anything, and we have kept to that. He is happy and healthy. We have another coming in February and she will also not be vaccinated.
Your little guy was and is very loved, and you are doing the right thing by sharing his story. What a great parent you are.