if anyone tells you that you are not going to have quarrel or misunderstanding, the person is being very unrealistic .
It is like travelling in your own car from Lagos to Maiduguri for a meeting which starts 8.00 the following morning and someone is advising you not to speed beyond 60kmh -that is not realistic.
It will be better to say to you “Drive carefully Don’t over speed” then that is realistic. The same thing goes with relationships.
You must remember that no two persons are the same and so it is not possible to agree in all things. There is bound to be agreement to disagreement and disagreement to agreement on many issues or ideas concerning your well-being, your family or friends.
But you become a victorious person when you develop or take up the attitude of the best is good in our decision. In your discussion with your friend, ally or partner, a third party can offer better suggestions to certain subject matters. Do not move towards seeing your opinion prevailing in everything or else you become self-centered or selfish.
Selfishness and love do not go together just like water and oil do not mix. Don’t seek to be the Winner in your discussions while your friend becomes the loser. I have heard people saying he/she never “Never Listens or Never takes correction " that is a bad comment in your relationship and in the society. I say don’t live like a Winner and a Loser, or both being Losers, where after the argument and counter-
argument, no solution is arrived at.
Rather two of you must seek to be Winner in which case you are able to arrive at a conclusion that will benefit everyone. This does not mean that you cannot quarrel.
You are human beings and any party can upset the other -you can get angry even over little things.
Don’t ever hide your feelings. If you are angry, let your friend/ partner know; if you are in a bad mood show it.
Even when you are asked, “Are you Angry?” Simply say “Yes” when you mean “Yes” and “No” if it is sincerely “No”.
“Be angry but do not sin, do not let the sunset meet you still angry”
Be angry but make sure that your anger does not lead you into sin. If you discover that the other person is angry or in a bad mood, don’t contribute to it, simply be calm and watch your actions and words in such a way that they will not trigger him/her into deadly anger.
In fact, the best way to avoid sinning in that situation is keeping quiet till his/ her temper drops. The best time to beg the person is not when he/she is still angry.
If you are angry, you can play your favorite music, or go Straight to your bed and lay there praying if you can, or take a stroll out or go to where people can make you laugh. If the other person is going out because he/she is angry, don’t stop him/ her, let him/ her go.
And when he/she returns, don’t raise the issue until you are together on your bed and when the person is still not in the mood, gently sleep on no disturbance.
Anger though not a sin, it is deadly. Like an intoxicating wine, it is a drive that can take improper control of your emotions and possibly destroy you.
Be slow to speak
Even when your partner is doing something wrong or what you don’t like smoking, drinking, coming late, having relationship outside the from work, be slow to speak.
It reminds me of an ugly situation when a man came back home during a work break and met another man on his wife. If it were you what will you do? This man simply said, “Oh... I am sorry”and he went back to work.
That seems stupid isn’t it? Can you take that? Wouldn’t you have killed the man straight away, or kill both the man and your wife?
I know it hurts especially if you are faithful even when you are not. Before you start disturbing the peace of the house, first go to a quiet place and then ask yourself series of questions if you can. You could be a great contributor to that in anyway. I am not justifying the action of the woman but you could lead her to that mess.
The husband could be caught in the same jumble. What will you do as the wife? To make the matter worse, the man or the woman in question may even be your best friend. What will be your first point of action?
I would like you to take a moment rest to ponder on the above situation and your possible actions, write them down.
One thing you must realise is that you may not know what your reaction will be until you are in that situation. Anyway, it is strongly advised that you should be slow to speak and slow to act.
