The Blob’s Antechamber – deep, deep within the compound…
Dr. Summeroff smiles as he checks his mobile device and sees the numbers from the BlobCoin ICO hit 300 Million!! The crypto is a huge hit…
Already, repair crews have been brought in to modernize the Compound – upgrade the tech, reinforce the walls, repair the plumbing and electrical, add new wings that can house more servants.
Indeed, many of the new converts – those in attendance at the last few months of UOW programming – have graciously opened up their wallets and their hearts – buying into the Blob’s official crypto. It is, however, at this point in time, just an Ethereum knock-off. Code ported right out of Github.
“One of these days, I should have Brother Computus make some modifications….” the good doctor mumbles to himself.
“You mean like all that crap you put in the white paper”, Abaddon asks, still as skeptical as always.
Simon lifts his head up in outrage drom the Doctor’s knee…and the Blob himself seems to quiver in his tank at hearing this – a brief flash of purple light emanates from the top of the Bio-mass, down to the bottom.
“You see that Abaddon? You have angered The Blob! AND SIMON TOO! We don’t need that FUD in his temple. Keep such thoughts to yourself. Simon can smell FUD like a Vastrix Fart in the training Gym!!”
Fear, uncertainty AND doubt…the three things waiting, claws out – ready to tear into the new found profits.
Speaking of FUD…
“Mr. Buzi…” Summeroff beckons.
“Yes?” Buzi says, yawning. The efforts of recent times have made them all tired.
Summeroff begins, “There’s a fellow in Japan – a trustee of something called Mr. Gox…this man is selling off all his Bitcoins and causing FUD across the markets…well not really. His sales don’t actually coincide with much activity….but the media…oh they are like poor Simon here…they latch onto a bone and won’t let go. I need this caretaker to vanish. Fast. The man threatens the prosperity of the BlobCoin and we can’t have that kind of uncertainty in our lives…”
“You want me to go all the way to Japan to deal with someone who really isn’t to blame?” Buzi asks for confirmation.
“Yes Buzi…I’d have thought by now given our time here in UOW that you would have learned PERCEPTION is the reality.
Why let facts get in the way? It’s what people think that’s real. Take out this trustee and the confidence will be restored. You just watch…”
Buzi frowns, “I can’t just make someone disappear!”
“You can. It is the will of Blob…just as we are going to make our old friend Jeremiah disappear…you see, President McStrump is going to let him out of his prison in time for Abishag’s match…”
Summeroff looks around.
“Where is he anyway?”
Buzi also looks around.
“I’m not sure.”
Summeroff grunts.
“Jeremiah is the reason the order is draped in shame this week Buzi. HE was defeated by the harlot Dresden – kicked backwards onto those concrete steps where his lack of heart and determination was revealed. I can still here that PIN COUNT in my head!”
Summeroff signals for one of the Order’s guards to open the door to the Ante-Chamber.
“BRING IN MR. DAVIS!!!!”
Two guards bring in a beaten and mottled looking Referee Danny Davis.
“I hired you to do one JOB Mr. Davis – Ensure Mr. Abishag got the win from that match! Now if it were just Mr. Abishag alone – well I wouldn’t have need of an ace in my sleeve like yourself. As it was though – Mr. Abishag not only had to do his own part against the crazed fury of Takuma Sato – he also had to carry Mr. Vastrix! Carrying Mr. Vastrix is no small order. A man with his…his paucity of skill…well he never achieved anything in his life without the help of people like Abishag. Poor Abishag…he lets Jeremiah out of his site for but ONE moment…a moment YOU, Mr. Davis were paid to watch for…and look what happened! They mock the order on the forums! On twitter! On Discord…even…on TELEGRAM! We are the laughing stock of not only the wrestling world but our invincibility was challenged in front of President Ronald McStrump himself! Thank goodness the President is now guided by the hand of blob…he sees as the gelatinous master sees…he thinks as the master thinks…and so he was ready with Plan B – the drugs…to have that vile Sato and his disgusting green harlot tramp locked away! Those two are abusers MR. Davis…abusers of the rule of law. Many say that those drugs were planted but I don’t believe it. I choose to believe – knowing Sato as I do – that he’s a law breaking slime trying to corrupt the sanctity of UOW and bring drugs into the locker room! Mind altering substances have no place in the Blob’s locker room!”
Danny Davis protests, “But….I almost got there! Abishag was in the way and…”
“HOW DARE YOU PUT THE BLAME ANYWHERE BUT ON YOURSELF! MISERABLE ACCURSED WRETCH! SIMON! Quickly! To arms! Tenderize this worthless sack of shit!!
Simon Shrieks – a noise that curdles Danny Davis to the bones! The beast is off – leaping from Summeroff’s knee, flying through the air! It’s almost like it’s happening in slow motion, the jaws opening wide and the eggs bugging out from the skull – rage in them. Davis screams and turns but Simon is on him – latching onto the crooked referee’s neck and chewing on it like an extra small sized milk bone!
Soon, Simon makes his way down, biting and chomping in a way that would make Marv Albert sprout wood but for most – eliciting screams of horror. Davis is soon reduced to a quivering, bloody mess.
“THIS is what happens when people fail me Mr. Davis…many souls have made their last journey here – their last thoughts of what could have been…and of what now IS….BUZI! Throw him in!”
Abaddon presses the all too familiar button on the console and the top of the Blob’s tank opens.
Buzi picks up the seeping mess that is Danny Davis and drops him into the tank with all the care of someone throwing out yesterday’s trash.
The Blob – sensing another sacrifice does what it does and envelopes the hapless referee and consumes him.
…..outside the Antechamber, Brother Abishag watches and cringes in disgust. The Doctor has flat out lost his way. He has turned the Blob into a sideshow, using it to dispose of the bodies of those who cross him…swat teams, police, janitors and now UOW referees. Who was next? What if Bob Sigro made a bad call? Would he find himself dropped unceremoniously into the tank as well?
Worse still was the dog and the Blobcoin…What had happened to them all…they used to have honor. They stood for something. Now they were a bunch of second rate charlatans, selling snake oil to the oblivious masses…The order used to be feared…now it was a mockery. Part of that was Jeremiah Vastrix’s fault of course. His incompetence and poor skills in the ring had aged Abishag years….while Jeremiah fumbled around using technology to supplement his shortcomings – Abishag used training and his uncorruptable faith in the Blob to keep him on top of his game. Summeroff had gotten in the way of that now. He spent more time with that filthy, disgusting mutt – Simon – then he did following the teachings of the Blob. Simon would be more at home on a B-Movie film set.
He could be the star….
…of Basket Case…
Or the Deadly Spawn…
Or The Fly.
He was truly hideous.
Instead he had taken his place as Summeroff’s second in command and enforcer.
How could Buzi and Abishag not see it?
Alas – there were two useless hangers on to dispose of this week. Jeremiah Vastrix…
…and Simon.
And so as night fell as the order went to their cots and fell into deep sleep, Abishag snuck into Summeroff’s own quarters.
The doctor stirred for a brief moment…as if he heard the door opening. He face turned to grimace as he farted. Then he relaxed again and went back to whatever dreams he dreamt.
One of Simon’s eyes opened but he realized the danger too late as the Chloroform cloth covered his bashed in snout (Simon actually looked like he’d been struck by an anvil in his youth and that’s why it’s face was all mashed in) and put the mongrel to sleep.
Abishag lifted the deadweight and carried the thing into the hallway.
“Sorry pal…you’ve gotten in the way one too many times…”
Even groggy from the drugs, the mutt still knew too bite and so chomped down on the Abishag’s thumb!
“Oh….you rotten bastard!” Abishag hissed at the thing. He took his good hand, extended his index finger and jammed it onto the dog’s eye. Simon whimpered in pain.
“Yes….that’s it….” Abishag said as he walked outside the compound and made his way down the long path to the Compound. At last he reached the highway and after a moment, a truck passed by.
“Later bitch”, the Blob’s priest says with contempt and tossed Simon in front of a moving truck.
The next morning, Abishag is awakened by a bucket of water to the face.
He opens his eyes and standing there is Sumeroff, Buzi, Abaddon and 12 Order guards…and in Summeroff’s arms – Simon.
“He’s alive!” Abishag yells.
“Yes! HE is alive….barely…and only by the grace of Blob!” Summeroff shouts, outrage in his voice.
Abishag notices most of Simon’s body is coated by the Blob’s essence.
“Yes….you forget the healing properties of the Blob…YOU yourself…in another time and place Abishag…also experienced the Blob’s grace. He showed me in a vision – you dropping into a pool of boiling water!!! The Blob saving you….and now my beloved Simon is on the same door – death’s door….and the Camera’s show it was YOU…CARELESS Abishag! To think you wouldn’t be caught…your treachery knows…”
Abishag stands up.
The rage that had been building there for months now was boiling over…he’d been calm in recent times and his in ring performance had suffered…he taken on rabble such as Vastrix as his partner but now those days were over.
The days of war were back.
Once he was as feared a wrestler as there was on the planet…
Now he’d been reduced to comic relief and mid card appearances.
Summeroff had lost his way.
The Order had lost its way and become a shell of what it should be.
The Blob knew this. In the other realities the Order was a force of nature, bringing glory and titles across federations.
FEAR.
RESPECT.
The kind of fear Mudcock and Ronald McStrump commanded in this world.
POWER.
Under the old man and his love of ugly dogs and cryptocurrencies – the order had floundered.
They were the Benny Hill’s of UOW.
No more.
It was time to instill some respect.
Perhaps Abaddon and Buzi also needed reminding…
Abishag began to walk forward…and then he shut the door to the room. He smiles – a large toothy grin.
“Oh…shit”, Buzi said matter of factly, having seen this look in his brother’s eyes before. “Abaddon! Get ready!”
“Get ready for what!?” Summeroff yells, his fist trembling at the temerity of this mutiny! “Guards! Get him!”
The noise coming from the room was terrible…screams, smashing, things breaking, bones breaking, blood pooling under the door and running into the hallway.
The door opens….Simon limps out and drags his broken back legs down the hall. His eyes are glazed over – his only semblance of life is the glow of the Blob’s biomass coursing through his veins.
Soon Abaddon staggers out, bleeding and visibly roughed up. Buzi follows and then Abishag.
“It’s good you chose the right team gentlemen”, Abishag says, dusting off his hands. “I’m in charge now. Together, we will bring the order back to its glory….no more getting along to get along. This fed and everyone in it and associated will bow down to us.”
“What about him?” Buzi says and points to Sumeroff, unconscious on the ground.
“Leave him…if the Blob wants him to live, then he’ll live…”
Abaddon and Buzi nod.
“And find that Mutt…it seems the Blob does want him alive…the question is Why…but then again, who are we to question his ways?”
They stand, quiet, taking in what had just happened.
“Feed those to the Master”, Abishag says and points to the fallen guards, “They are all Summeroff loyalist…no great loss. The Master will will feast tonight”
