I don't know if this is a weekend-esque post, but it is the weekend in our country, and I am spending mine in utmost devastation, so I thought, 'why not share a bit? See where it goes?'
Thus, here I am... With my nonsense. I'll get to it then.
Whenever it rains in Dhaka, one of the most common sights are seeing women, especially those who are housewives, standing on their balcony, looking at the sky with faces full of contempt and sadness.
Now, I get rain is, in general, a very emotion-provoking thing. Whether be it sadness or downright irritation, humans deal with various sensations when they come face to face with this downpour. And these housewives, who left who knows what behind just to get stuck in the monotonous lives they live now (which I'm in no way disrespecting. Everyone has their own calling. I'm not judging anyone's choices.), aren't any different. We all have regrets, and we all have our 'what-ifs.'
But I'm not here to talk about the housewives and their sadness, no. Because, like the many housewives, I, myself, am also sitting on my balcony, looking at the rain as it washes over this dystopian city.
Am I a housewife? Most certainly not. I'm not even married. Yet I still look at the rain, with my very own set of regret. Singular, as I have only one at the moment. Which is not having a cigarette nearby to smoke...
I am but a simple human. So it can easily be said that even my desires are very simple. And right now, they are revolving around a particular death stick — which, I'm not proud of consuming, by the way. I'm trying to quit even — and how it would feel if I had it in my hand, filling up my lungs with its grey smoke as I watched the grey sky cry its eyes out.
It's not like I've run out of cigarettes to smoke. I have plenty just inside my room, only a few steps away from me.
But I'm talking about the yearning for it! The unquenched desire, the devastation of not bringing one with me when I decided to sit down here. It's the feeling of regret, of leaving something behind. And let's also not forget about the fact that I am, very lazy. And that I'm also trying to quit...yes....
So this is me sitting here in regret, on a cloudy afternoon, on a balcony facing this destructive city which eats away its people, silently acknowledging the housewives and their sets of regrets.
Some mules over past lives and past choices.
Some mules over unwashed dirty dishes.
And some, mules over not having a box full of death nearby.
Ahhh...regrets!
Disclaimer: Smoking is injurious to health! Don't try this at home, or anywhere else, kids!
