Someone close to me is facing a time waster. Basically they want to stick her in an English course that costs money, but gives no credits in return, all because she's a long way out of highschool.
I say F that noise. So I wrote a persuasive essay for her to use as a reference and hopefully jump her over that hurdle. And here it is:
It's nearly unfathomable to me that it has been fifteen years since I took an English class. It's quite fortunate that I became an avid reader as I matured into adulthood, if not for my love of books the prospect of taking this course would be daunting after so much time has elapsed. In light of that however, I can confidently say that the best use of my time would be spent earning my credits in English 101. The various checkpoints mentioned in the terms of this essay are all well within my skill set. I enjoy reading, as I mentioned, and also writing if perhaps to a lesser extent. I know my way around a word processor, and I believe I will have worthwhile contributions to class discussions. Perhaps most importantly, life has made me a keen student of managing time.
Using my time wisely has become of paramount importance to me. A number of years ago I ran across a quote from Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey that stuck with me: "Time is a cruel thief to rob us of our former selves. We lose as much to life as we do to death." When I first read it I understood it intellectually, but I didn't have enough life experience to truly appreciate its meaning. Now however, I comprehend it all too well. In six short months my twin girls will become teenagers. No more pigtails or Barbie dolls, sticker books or candy flavored lip gloss. These childish things have been replaced by flat irons and smart phones, iPads and acrylic nails. Soon, too soon, they will be where I was when I first encountered that quote.
Time truly is our most valuable commodity. I recently came across a short story by Stephen King- My Pretty Pony- one of the few from his early days that strayed from the horror genre. I had no idea what the premise of it was before I began, but it seems as though the universe is conspiring to get my attention on the subject of time. Essentially it was about a grandfather explaining the nature of time to his young grandson, how much more quickly it passes the older you get. I am paying attention Universe, I hear you loud and clear. In fact it may be the largest contributing factor in the decision to further my education. A desire not only to better myself, but also to show my children that if we make a goal and work toward it, we can be well compensated for the time we spend.
It is my hope that I have supplied the instructor in charge of making a determination with adequate proof of my ability to succeed in English 101. I truly appreciate the time spent on this matter, and offer my thanks in advance for aiding me in my quest to better myself and my family's overall situation in life. To wrap this up I will risk a combination of cliches: Time is short, and I'm not getting any younger. It is high time that I begin to make a meaningful mark on this world.
So what do you think? Will they advance her? Any suggestions?