Hey @fraenk, don’t do that, just don’t ask yourself anything, it just happened. Nothing but far away from your intention that things went that way...shit happens.
Me myself just felt the same not so long ago (I won’t tell you the whole story now) so I understand you perfectly.
The world it’s just dangerous, so dangerous for animals(and humans) around us, no way we can keep them safe all the time.
Just keep this: she didn’t suffered at all, I’m quite sure... the life signals you saw during her last moments where only automated ones due to the automated nervous system, no consciousness was present due to the hit and the subsequent shock. She didn’t suffered, period.
If something has to happen it must be quick as this, no pain.
I’m so sorry that you had to see this scene. Well life it’s hard at a times and these situations help us strengthen our souls because we in an uncertain future will have to deal with similar or even worst issues and maybe on humans. It’s tough and sad but life is this way.
Merit lies on overcoming hard situations and keep our souls clean and young to always look our world (and life) with different eyes.
You made it by finishing this awkward post and that’s your merit.
Love n’hugs ❤️