As we go through our everyday lives we often argue and fight with our family. Children fight with their siblings over toys and the cries of “mum, he hit me”, “mum, she’s got my toy” are just some of the things that mothers all over will recognise. When we become teenagers we are going through hormonal changes and dealing with new relationships and we think our parents have never been there. We feel that our parents are holding us back, and stopping us enjoying our lives, when the truth is that they probably have been there, and are trying to stop us from getting hurt the way they were.
Family are usually with us all the time and as the saying goes “familiarity breeds contempt”, we take family for granted and can concentrate on our differences and not our similarities. We let every-day things drive us apart, small things seem so important to argue and fight about that we forget the importance of family.
Our family is there from the day we are born. Mum, dad, grandmothers and granddads, siblings and cousins. Sometimes we don’t have a very big family sometimes we have a lot of family, however many family we have they are the basis of our life. They provide us with life, protection, a home, security and they allow us to grow into the person we will become.
Some people are unfortunate and do not have family, orphans lose their closest relatives when they are young and vulnerable, and may live with more distant family, grandparents, uncles and aunts. Some children are adopted at an early age and these children can say more than any about the importance of family. Many adopted children who have perfectly good lives growing up in their adopted home still want to know about their blood relatives, what they see as their true family.
Family are more than the people you live with, they are the people who share your genes, they have similar ways, and maybe that similarity is what makes us push away from each other, but at the end of the day those similarities do pull us back together.
The format of families has changed over the years. We have gone from a nation where mum used to be the centre of the family, cooking cleaning and caring for everyone else. Where the family elders would be respected for their wisdom and cared for well into their old age in the family home. Today mum is still the centre point of the family but as a lot of mums now work the dynamic is different. Instead of the whole family pivoting around mum, the whole family rotates around each other. Dad may cook a meal while mum takes children to after school activities, mum may take daughters and dad take sons to a different after school activities and they grab a take away meal as a family afterwards.
The next week they may swap so that mum can see the boys play football and dad can see the girls dance, or play football too. The whole family moves on a constantly moving base changing and developing with the constraints of the weeks and months. Dads and mums may have holidays from work separately to be able to be there for the children. With such busy lives people have less time for their own parents and as the older generations become less independent they rely more on the private services provided to support and care for them.
This means that the older generations are no longer respected and revered as they used to be. Unfortunately, it is often too late before people really understand the importance of family and the value of the older generation and their knowledge. We rush around in our lives today trying to get so much done and we forget what really matters.
It is people who do not have a family of their own who really appreciate what is so special about having a family. They appreciate how much you can learn from the older generation, and the value of their experience of life. It is they who like to find where their attitudes and values have come from are they genetic or have they been learned?
Family is very important as they give each other support, and help through difficult times. Most people turn to their mother or father when they need help or advice, if they need somewhere to stay home is always there. Sisters may be best friends or brothers may be best mates. Brothers may protect their sisters much to their sisters’ annoyance sometimes.
Families share blood types and genes and sometimes we need our family to donate an organ, bone marrow or some other medical help. It takes a strong family bond for someone to make this kind of sacrifice and yet it does happen when the match is right.
The family is our personal history, our older generations know this history and unless we take the time to talk and listen to our older family relatives we lose the record of our history. People have amazing histories and these histories have built the life that we are living now. The histories do not have to be spectacular, we do not need to have a king, prince or murderer in our history to make it worthwhile knowing.
Every family history tells its own story and as part of that family you are part of that story. The hardships and struggles within your family have built the strength of character that you have inherited from your parents, the ethics and morals you have grown up with are part of that history. The beliefs of our parents are passed on to us and this is the grounding of our own beliefs.
Family is the one group that you are always part of. Whatever you do and wherever you go you are always part of that family. They are your base, your history, your teachers and protectors when you are young and vulnerable and their wisdom is invaluable as you forge your way in life.