From the Streets of Three Portlands to the Alleys of UnLondon — and Occasionally [REDACTED] — We're Bringing You a Donut Experience You’ll Never Forget (No Matter How Hard You Try).
At Donut Master, we believe every soul deserves a little sweetness. That’s why we’ve partnered with some of the finest extradimensional entities and interplanar flavor consultants to craft donuts that are delightfully demonic, devastatingly delicious, and mostly safe for human consumption.
Whether you're a morning commuter or a midnight cultist, there's a Donut Master treat made just for you.
The Prime Cruller
Our flagship pastry. Whispers back when bitten.
Elder Glaze™
Lovingly hand-etched with unknowable sigils. Pairs well with black ichor or house roast.
The Boston Scream
Cream-filled. Emits a short-range psychic burst upon consumption. Earplugs not included.
The Liminal Bar
Not a donut. Not a cake. Not of this dimension.
“It appeared in Site-19's breakroom and stole Dr. Hamm’s lunch. Left a loyalty card.” – Internal Memo, SCP Food Services Oversight
Join the Circle.
Every 6 donuts purchased earns you 1 Whispering Coupon.
Collect 13, and your 14th donut is free from regret.
“What do I owe them? Just my memories and my left shoe. Worth it.” – Agent ██████
Some Donut Master menu items may induce hallucinations, spontaneous chanting, or minor temporal displacement.
Consult your supervising thaumaturgist before consumption.
Do not feed to Class-D personnel without written authorization.
🌀 Donut Master™ is a proud subsidiary of Marshall, Carter & Dark (Limited Franchise Rights Division). All pastries non-refundable. May contain traces of guilt.
Donut Master™
Hell is fresh-baked daily. 🍩
