This is a mish-mash of comedy. Mostly it's my entry into both @corpsvalues very fun cartoon-off contest, of which I am his resident stick-figure artist and also COM, because who doesn't love efficient multi-tasking?

A Cartoon

Let's take an informal poll down in the comments... how long do you save your cards? I slowly built up a huge pile of them until one day I just decided to throw them out after reading them. Callous? I don't care. But apparently my wife does. So we compromised and now we keep all our cards forever.

A Caption

The excellent and aforementioned @corpsvalues provides an image each week for his contest, and has everyone come up with a caption. Here's this week's, which is actually courtesy of @lildebbiecakes

Source

When she accidentally threw away her social security check, Mrs. Goldstein was forced to turn to E-Sports in a desperate attempt at earning some extra money.

A Meme

Those all actually belonged to a roommate I used to live with. This happened each week.

A Story

Once when I was working at a restaurant, I accidentally threw away something pretty important, though now I can't remember what it was, exactly. I had taken the trash out to the huge dumpster out back when I saw whatever this important object was tumble in as I was emptying a huge garbage can. I had to jump into the dumpster and look around, and I remember being terrified the entire time because there was a compactor built into the dumpster. I was afraid it would spontaneously turn on with me inside. But it would have been kind cool to re-enact a scene from Star Wars in my final moments I guess.

This was my entry for Round 36 of the Comedy Open Mic contest. I nominate @fromage and @blanchy.

@DollarsAndSense is a father, veteran, participant in the rat race, freelance writer, and volunteer EMT. He also tries to be funny sometimes. Hey, want to play Cards Against Humanity on Steemit?

Cryptos Against Humanity - Week 8

Unless otherwise noted, all text and pictures in this post are my own and may not be reused without my permission.

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