Perfect People

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Is there a perfect partner out there for everyone?

In other words, is there one person out there who will jive with one other so well that they'll never have any confrontation? A partnership that's so perfectly suited that neither one of the parties would ever have a single complaint or frustration about the other?

Is it possible to find and form a relationship with others who won't ever let you down?

A perfect match, I would describe as being one that doesn't involve a single second of confrontation and when neither of the parties will ever hold any complaint for the other. Someone who will do everything right and say everything right, all day every day for their entire life. Is it possible to find someone who could ever meet such a standard of perfection? I don't think so.

I think that people can be extremely well suited to be paired with one another, but because there aren't perfect people out there, I don't think there are any perfect partners. Likewise, there aren't any perfect friends, and there aren't any perfect family members. Good relationships either with family, partners, or friends etc, are going to require work and sacrifice.

People can let you down and hurt you in many different ways, most of the time it's not on purpose.

The idea that there is some “perfect partner” out there might inspire some of us to give up on a relationship that we have now. But we might never find that “perfect person” who we think is out there.

Does this mean that we should accept abuse? No. But maybe, just because someone let's us down, it doesn't mean that we should disregard them entirely. If we cut off everyone who disappoints us, whenever they disappoint us, then we might end up with a lot of regret.

Sometimes it's important to cut ties with toxic people. This is because these relationships might negatively influence and drag us into destructive patterns that aren't good for our lives. When relationships with others start to infect us in a negative way, that might be when it's time to move on. But we don't want to always run away each and every time that things don't go our way.

Are there perfect friends to be found?

Friends who will hold all of the exact same opinions that we do, enjoy all of the same interests that we do, say all of the right things, and who will never let us down? Or can friendships sometimes be a bit messy, requiring forgiveness, understanding, humility, and work?

It's not going to benefit us to surround ourselves with people who abuse and misuse us. And quite often when other people disappoint us and let us down, it can feel like abuse because it can cause us emotional suffering; that we endure by choice. And if they do this enough times, they might bring more pain than joy into our lives and prompt us to consider why we continue to invest in a relationship with them.

Each and every one of us has our own faults and when we maintain relationships with others over many years, those individuals get the chance to be there to experience our personal growth. And over those years we might make mistakes, we might get lazy, we might get angry etc, it might require work to maintain the connection with the other person. And if healthy relationships with others do require care, time, energy, respect etc, then we can assume that successful relationships aren't going to be ones that are rooted in pride and selfishness. On some occasion, we might need to put the needs or desires of another person ahead our own.

what we value...

When it comes to traits that make a great friend or partner, survey's have revealed that many of us have similar values in what we look for.

We look for someone who is honest and who we can trust, someone who is going to be available in an emergency for us, someone who will be fun to be around, who will remember and celebrate special occasions in our life, give us an honest opinion, be a good listener, and more.

It looks like the common theme here is kindness and with that comes the consideration for the needs of others and personal sacrifice; rather than assuming that everyone in our lives is only here to serve us. And researchers who've spent generous amounts of time extensively studying human relationships have also insisted that generosity and kindness are the recipe for long-lasting relationships with others.