hm ... the most defining bit was probably being forced into the nationalist youth movement when i was 8 ... maybe to toughen up the kid, but it was just around and still in town, the extreme and far right. The camps were kinda fun, the propaganda a bit less. But everyone around was, VMO ... TAK ... VNJ ... trading weapons like steemmonsters cards ... Bert Eriksson, the good old days ... tell you to stand for what you believe and never back down but mean "do as we tell you and never back down" , sadly the shy A-grade kid had the wrong brain and ten years later they kicked me out for kissing my girlfriend while still wearing my uniform.
If anything i kept from that its a serious aversion to authority for the sake of authority AND
the lesson that far right and left are exactly the same place with the same people wearing different faces. None will let anyone but their kennelmasters speak ...

I cant say there was abuse though, strict and correct but i would still trust most of those people with my life before anyone else ... "honour" they have
like jarheads and tunnelrats who went to die in the mud
no beating
no forcefeeding but
ive always been a loner and
i grew up at my grandparents as a kid cos the parents didnt have time, always working, grandpa spent most of the war in a nazi labour camp and made it out alive ... so him and the father ... that and the fact the father got his youngest daughter to marry :p ... not really warm friends , SO
i didnt lack for any hugs and affection and my first years were spent in a very warm nest, according to Freud all's well
but the thing is

i was born ab-normal :p loner, always by myself , read before kindergarten , refused to go to school, wouldnt even enter, took them weeks to get me back and in there (when i was 1st year toddler) i just turned around and went home ...

:)

i eat meat but

if i had to kill it myself id be stuck eating humans cuz i wouldnt swat a fly but humans damaged plenty

did i have to
put that in a list ?

aint nobody's business anyway, the cat that walks alone, i had seven lives between then and now, been around the block
few times, knew all kinds of people
was flashy ... had 150 or more people in my phone like normal people do

the kid wanted to be an astronaut
the dude wanted to move out of hell to mongolia with his cats and a bit of plush cash
spent about 2 to 3 years out on the street, having literally no address, no passport, in the city but non-existent with anything but the money in my pockets, plenty of respect and people
and now ?

i dont think ill be getting there

the neutron-star compact version because the way i see it

my life is not a story and ain't nobody's business :)

my hi-school modern language studies werent lost completely as it seems they're useful reading people on teh webz lol

the rightwing went down, came back with blood and honour , now has the country on lock as the five governments wont let it , despite rising in one election from 6 to 18%

and i just say :"i told you so, 20 years ago since i wanted OUT OF EUROPE cuz it aint going right"

but if it were going left, for all i know thats all the same besides

you can't be kiplings cat and earn the right to sit in caves

if you dont mind your own business heh

prime directive, rodenberry ....

cant say theres much extremism left in the parents either, as usual, when people get elected, despite whatever they show themselves as plush seats in parliamnet turn them into fattened pigs with silver-lined pockets

maybe all but amelia and julia so far .... (pirate party ... neo-green-red)

always funny to hear americans or succesful chinese, canadians or aussies going on about "just doing it" and tell them

you come live in the swamps at the center or europe for a decade, start with no money

see if you get to bill gates status the same you would overthere ... realitycheck