For me, the sadness was the focus on the lying not the sex. I never understood about being jealous about another man/woman in the mix. Like writers, you can't please them all and sometimes one person can't satisfy someone for 30+ years every single time. No one is required to only read a single author, watch a single show, stay in the same time for decades at a time. Passion is the same thing. So, I think accepting that sometimes a little needs to be added to mix is a reasonable thing. Much like him, "all you had to do is ask."

Garl was his best friend and a good man. He would treat her just like Markor strived himself. Together, they would give her what she needed and she would do the same for them. It was just part of growing old together.

In this case, I wanted to write a man who was fine with his wife having sex with someone else. It's just a matter of making sure he gets his own time with her because he still loves her and she loves him. That is a danger with new relationships in polyam relationships, the "new toy smell" as it were. But, that's what communication is about. You find a balance where everyone is happy and it works out.

The paragraphs about the temperature of his tea is actually him working through that balance.

It's the cheating part, the lies, that hurt the most. That trust is harder to regain and it just doesn't away at the end of a movie. I think too many people equate sex with love and it isn't. Markor loves Parlin and she loves him back. She made a mistake: not the sex, but keeping it from him. Once he got over that initial betrayal, it was a matter of working it out, not saying "no" but "how".

If you are curious, my favorite book on the topic is The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory.

Also, if you want a naughty romance of a foursome coming together, I wrote one last year called Second-Hand Dresses.

As for me? Well, honesty has been a part of my relationship long before we got married nineteen years ago. :)