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Feeling anxious in certain situations is pretty normal. These could include getting nervous before a speech on stage, going on a first date, especially if the person next to you feels out of your league, or plenty of other moments. The thing is, how anxious you feel often matches how much that situation matters to you. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to calm ourselves down, we just can’t handle it, and it ends up messing everything up.
This article comes from a real-life experience of my friend who, despite being academically excellent, couldn’t cope with his anxiety issue. He often talks about this problem with me, and I try to counsel him, but it doesn’t always help. The last time it happened, he was taking his final-year university exams and faced this issue again. He’s a medical student, so his exams included a specific type of assessment called an OSCE (Objective Standard Clinical Examination). In this, you have to interact with an examiner and handle real-life medical scenarios, like examining a patient for a disease, counseling them for surgery, or asking questions about their illness to diagnose it. It’s a time-bound exam where you visit nearly 10 examiners, one after another, all within an hour.
When he told me about this exam, I got a bit scared because he mentioned they judge you based on how you’ll interact with patients later on. That sounded terrifying, and feeling anxious in that situation made sense. Even though he prepared well for the exams, my friend was still anxious and kept talking to me about how he could keep his heart rate steady and not blank out in front of the examiner. He was so overwhelmed that he even thought about taking a beta blocker drug, a medication that slows your heart rate and is rarely used for severe anxiety.
Even with all this, I did what I could, but since he’s a medical student too, he already knew everything I suggested. I couldn’t do much beyond being a supportive friend, so I just wished him good luck for his exams.
After our last in-person meetup, I wished him well and planned to catch up after his exams. I half-expected he’d ace it since he’s my friend and I know how skilled he is. When we met a month later, what he told me about his exam experience left me feeling a bit sad, but we both took away a big lesson from it.
He said that, even with all his preparation, he couldn’t manage the situation like he’d hoped. He still did okay, but it didn’t match his expectations or the effort he’d put in. Anxiety isn’t something you can fully shake off in a day or two, though you can improve how you deal with it. He noticed some of his friends, who handled stress better, sailed through easily despite working less. After weathering that storm, he picked up a lot of insights and told me how he’d tackle similar situations better next time. Naturally, it was a huge learning moment for me too.
A few lessons he shared, which I think are worth mentioning:
If we don’t actively manage our thoughts, our mind often jumps to the worst possible scenario. It tricks us into feeling like we’ll face something in an exam we can’t handle. But in reality, when we’re actually there, we usually know enough and do much better than we expect.
If you know what scares you, try putting yourself in that situation so your mind gets used to it and handles it better. Experience builds confidence.
The best way to beat anxiety before a big moment is to prepare thoroughly. Have your tools ready to tackle any challenge, just master the skill.
Your mindset matters most. How you see a situation can make or break it. A strong mindset can carry you through even when you think you’ll fail. No matter how much our negative side drags us down, we’re so much more than what temporary anxiety makes us feel.
In the end, what I learned from this experience is that anxiety made my friend view his exams in the worst possible light. I agree it was tough, but despite his solid preparation, he only did average when he really deserved better. I know it, he knows it, and everyone who knows him as a student knows it too. But that’s life. You don’t win every fight, and some are meant to teach you bigger lessons. He was thankful for what happened since it readied him for greater responsibilities coming up soon as he starts his career as a healthcare professional.
I hope readers pick up a valuable lesson from this too. One rough moment doesn’t define what you can do. You’re so much more than that. If you ever find yourself in a spot where fear takes over, just remind yourself, you’ve got this!
