Earlier today, an older woman sent me an inbox message. Clearly enraged and was requesting for me to delete a comment she saw on wall. which she says might leave a woman with the impression that she can refuse to have sex with her own husband.
"How dare her (commenter) call that rape and expect peace in her home?" she wrote.
She went on to say,
"there is no such thing as husband raping his wife" and added that I better remove the comment so that "we don't leave all these women with the impression that they are "allowed to get their husband in trouble for only taking what is due to him, what God has gifted him with."
I gotta say, it takes ALOT to piss me off but if you think reading that message drove me fucking mad, you're right!
So I drank a glass of water, took a walk BEFORE doing this response.
MY RESPONSE....
"Ma'am, there seem to be a generational factor at play in our differences on this issue.
You likely come from a school of thought which sees a man as deserving total authority over you, solely because you are a woman.
The large majority of women on this PROGRESSIVE community, does NOT share that with you. Including me.
You see ma'am, our generation is moving forward; we're choosing to advance from those beliefs which have undoubtedly oppressed you and are now seeking to oppress us because we listened to you.
I became a necessity for exactly that purpose; to end these outdated ideologies which has caused so many of us women to become a soft target for some men and other brainwashed-women who enable and help to cover-up violence against us.
We are gradually no longer regarding ourselves as INFERIOR to a boy or a man solely because we have a different genital that he does.
We now have careers, lives, aspirations outside the home and beyond the invisible cages you compelled us to live within.
What else is different?
We now understand BODY AUTONOMY...which means a person has control over whom or what uses her body, for what, and for how long.
which basically means, I am essentially IN CHARGE of my own body!
Ring or no ring, RAPE is RAPE.
Ma'am, there are fundamental differences between your generation and ours.
We will teach our own daughters to believe in themselves and in their own ability to be great regardless of whether they are single or not.
We will do things differently that you - our seniors - did them.
RAISING BOYS
We will not tell our boys that they own another individual. Care and consideration matters in how they interact with women.
We will not tell our boys that they can RAPE a woman as she screams and kicks and then receive pats on the back from their mother. NO means NO.
We will march men who force their penises into children and women to JAIL instead. Not help to cover up tragedies and say we don't want to "air dirty laundry".
RAISING GIRLS
We will not tell our girls that they are just here as accessories to fellow humans with penises.
We will NOT tell our girls that just because she signed on the dotted line, the man whom she trusts to love and support her, is now able to force his way into her vagina even as she is kicking and screaming "Nooooo! stttopppp!!! Nooooo!!!".
We will tell our girls that we will not force them to remain quiet when they tell us someone attempted to or RAPED them and we will join them in a fight against anyone who breeches their rights to their own bodies regardless of whether they are married to him or not.
We will not compel our girls to stay with a man who has no regard for them as equals.
We are DONE with the way things used to be ma'am; the way YOU did things.
It has hurt us for generations and it is still hurting us. We're trying another way.
