I guess the title says it all.
I've spent my life avoiding failure by avoiding effort. That way, if I succeed, which is quite often due to my unnaturally low goals, I can say "wow everybody look at me! I did an amazing job with no effort!". When I fail, I take comfort in the fact that it would have been impossible for nearly anybody under those conditions.
The things I do try, they turn out great. I just am happier being the best amateur rather than a kind of mediocre professional. Maybe if I practiced more... but I never have, that would be effort, effort would collapse my whole scheme.
So one day I woke up and I was 31 and I realized that my life is a waste, a waste of creativity and a waste of talent and a waste of thoughts. I see that the happiness of the people around me is related directly to how much they work, and this means that I can probably achieve happiness by just doing what they do, which is spend some hours every day on a creative and rewarding endeaver. I quickly figured out that reaching the top 10% at websudoku doesn't count towards those goals.
My public attempt at self improvment is likely to cause me some embarrassment, but whatever. My first goal is to learn to play the piano. I play the cello, so I can read the notes, and I had some introduction as a child from my cello instructor, but I have never performed on the piano for an audience. I will learn how to play the piano musically, post recordings of all 100+ piano pieces in my beginner book, and admit to effort in my progress reports. My goal will be to be a resource for other adult beginners, rather than a competitor. Playing the piano would be a significant step towards becoming a cello instructor, so it's not really altruistic either.
I started posting recordings on YouTube already, once I figure out loading them here I'll start blogging:)
