This is an experimental Creative Write/Free write. I wrote this in the Hive.Pizza DiscordPizza Guild Discord while sharing my screen and asking for input/direction/whatever from the community. I think it will be an interesting way to construct a post and have no idea how this will turn out!
Rules!
They are few:
Anyone else in the voice channel's input overrides mine- I will type and incorporate ideas and input as I do- ANYONE in voice can make me edit or whatever!
Beneficiary split between all active participants in the Voice Channel.
Pizza Tips!
Other than that this is a standard free writing format! So lets GOOOOOOO! There is one other person in the Voice Chat when I started the timer:
It was a fine day in Brentwood and I awoke in a stupor. The fumes of my hangover took a while to clear before I could even make out my surroundings. Once the blur in my vision began to clear, I realized that I was deep in the forest... part of the woods I had never explored before. The sun was directly above and blazed down on me through a gap in the canopy. It was this blinding glare that had awakened me.
I had no memory of how I came to be in the middle of the woods and hungover. The last thing I remembered was the bottom of a snifter of mead. To judge by just how blurry my vision was and how dizzy I still felt, it had been a fine evening! To think that the mead that these peasants drink could put me in such a state! Memory began to stir faintly... The bosom of a fair made flashed back with particular clarity... though there was no name or face attached to the memory. I banished the memory for a moment in order to try and get my bearings. I reached for my flask to take the edge off of my hangover, but it was not present on my belt. In panic, I checked my coin purse. Thankfully it was still there but substantially lighter than it should have been. With no flask to help clear my head, I rose and stumbled aimlessly towards the sound of water in the near distance. As I passed between the ancient trees and the noise of the water grew louder I was filled with a strange trepidation. It suddenly occurred to me that Brentwood was enormous and I had no idea where within its reaches I might be. There was nothing to do but find the source of the rill and follow it hopefully in the direction of civilization of some kind.
As the noise grew louder the trees thinned, and I found a narrow leat racing with fresh clean water. There were even a couple of catfish swimming in its course. I drank greedily to slake my thirst, and once again lamented my missing flask. It was my fathers flask, and though it was the contents that I truly desired in that moment, a twinge of sentimentality distracted me for an instant. It's lack was also felt in my inability to carry any water with me as I planned my next move.
Which direction should I travel? I looked up at the sun and realized it was still midday, I sighed and took a deep breath, which brought with it the familiar aroma of roasting fish. It appeared to be coming from a distance upstream and I set out to discover it's source. The leat ran straight and true for a distance until the trees on the wooded banks grew more dense and foreboding. I pressed on regardless, letting my nose lead the way through the thickets. I tripped on a root and scrambled to maintain my footing in the dense and darkening underbrush to no avail and fell headlong into a small dell in which I beheld a most peculiar scene. Just on the bank of the leat, an enormous humanoid figure with the whiskers of a catfish, its sickeningly smooth and glistening body ending in an enormous tail that hung back into the water. It fixed me with glazed, inhuman eyes that nevertheless betrayed a hint of intelligence. That and the top hat really gave it away. This was no fish. Beyond it's enormous size and choice of attire, it stood on two legs and was busy roasting a much smaller catfish over a fire. It glubbed at me in garbled Germanian, which I struggled to understand as I rose from where I had fallen into the dell.
"GLICH GLUB BLUB EINEN BLUB!" It said and waved me towards the fire. I approached with wary caution. The roasting fish smelled delicious and my still queasy belly craved sustenance. I gestured towards the fire and pointed to my mouth, signing an interest in food.
"Glich blubglubber blig glug bloff!" It raised the roasting fish off the fire and held it out towards me. I assumed that it meant I should eat it but when I reached to take the proffered meal the creature pulled it back and glubbed with ferocious intensity. I took a step back from the stench that emanated from its glubbing maw as it attempted once again to speak to me. I was confused by it's clear rage and backed away quickly. The catfishman followed, waving its crispy brethren threateningly as it did.
"Father?!? What are you doing to this man?" A voice echoed from behind me and I spun on the spot, falling once more as I did. From the raised earth that enclosed the dell a small girl stood and admonished the catfishman. She couldn't have been more than twelve or thirteen years old, but she was horribly disfigured. A purplish red blotch began on the poor girls face, entirely encompassing the left side of her face and neck, it could even be seen on her left hand as she reached out towards the fish that she had called father. She descended into the dell and continued to speak to the monstrous fish as if it were human.
"Leave him alone, he is clearly lost! He has done nothing wrong!" She didn't even look at me as she passed by and continued to approach the catfishman without fear. I tried to stop her, unsure of what might happen, but she just continued on.
"Gliber glub bluggity von blug glub!" The fish practically frothed at the mouth as it spoke.
"No, no, father! I am sure he means no harm, let me speak with him!" The young girl turned to face me, and I shrank back from her horrible disfigurement.
Suddenly and without warning another man leapt from the undergrowth at the top of the dell and tossed an enormous net over the gigantic fish, capturing him within its folds. All hell broke loose. The girl wailed in terror, screeching for the fisherman to release her father. She turned to me and began begging for help.
"Please sir, he meant you no harm, you must help me free him from this evil fishermans clutches. The wretch has never let us have a moments peace since the moment my father found me drowning the millpond and saved me!" She clutched at my cloak as I recoiled from the blight that had stricken her and I watched as she turned to try to help her father.
The fisherman's cloak had flown open as he jumped down upon the monstrous fish, revealing a series of fine hooks, nets, and other fishing apparatus with which to snare and enslave his quarry. He unwound a whip from his belt and began lashing at the poor girl that was trying to save her father.
"Unhand me you wench! Do you have any idea how much this fish is worth!? 87 GOLD PIECES, and 69 SILVER PIECES, and 420 BRONZE PIECES, paid directly from the kings treasury. This fish used to be the kings own sorcerer, until the king realized the depth of his crimes during the last war. Thousands were turned to stone by him, and in an attempt to escape his punishment he transmogrified himself into this beast you see before you!"
"I don't care he saved me and has treated me as his own all my life! No other's would care for me because of the birthmark on my face!"
I looked on in absolute astonishment at the scene unfolding in front of me as the fisherman continued.
"The king's bounty alone would be worth it! But legend has it that the soup made from the head of a giant catfishman can imbue the consumer with great power!"
I was reminded of a time when I was young and met a man that looked suspiciously similar to the fisherman accosting the catfishman.
It was on the banks of the river Cleft that I met him, an expert fisherman that never failed to reel in his catch. A man so talented that we all would watch in wonder as he caught fish after fish after fish, day in and day out. He was the only fisherman on the river that was able to actually become wealthy through no other means than fishing. It was always my intention to follow in his footsteps and spend my days on the banks of the river, fishing peacefully for a living... My father never approved. He sent me off to a private school where I trained in the arts of Nobility. I never saw the fisherman again!
The catfishman began to struggle, pulling me out of my reverie just in time to see the fisherman strike again and again with his whip and hooks in an attempt to subdue him once more. Suddenly the net that had captured him slid off in a shower of water and the catfishman was free! Water erupted from the leat and knocked the fisherman back. He strode forward to grab his daughter and retreat to the water. The fisherman unwound a thick chain from his waist and began to spin it in rapid circles above his head. The catfishman had nearly reached his daughter and grabbed her in order to retreat from the fierce assault of the fisherman. The chain continued to circle above the fishermans head.
What is he waiting for I thought as I watched the mesmerizing path of the chain. The air began to fill with a WHUMMMMMWHUYMMMMMMWHUMWHUMWHUMWHUMWHUMWHUMWHUM as the speed of the circles increased.
Just as the catfishman and his daughter were about to disappear back into the river the fisherman struck and launched the chain across the clearing to wrap around his quarries slippery tail. The chain was pulled taut and for a moment it appeared that the fisherman would be able to prevent their escape.
"Glib glubberefle wohen glibbed." The young girl muttered under her breath and suddenly the chain glowed with ethereal light and exploded. One of the links of the chain must have spun across the clearing and struck me on the head. I woke hours later alone in the dell.
2 years later, in the kings castle:
The king, with his whiteish beard was at his banquet table, eating a pineapple flatbread amongst all of his courtiers, noblemen and noblewomen, as well as the resident barons in their finest black and gold tophats. Several even had monocles signifying their grand baron status (and partial blindness).
The spoiled prince was refusing to eat, as usual, scorning the delectable dishes and deserts spread in front of him. He turned to his father, and as had become tradition at every banquet for the last two years, asked "Father, where is my catfish head soup?"
The king sighed as usual, but this time was prepared. He beckoned to the fisherman and bade him answer his spoiled child.
"The catfishman escaped somehow that day, but let me tell you a secret.... come closer my prince." The prince leaned forward in his chair until the fisherman was within a hairsbreadth of his ear. The prince could feel the magic in the air as he drew breath.
"Glib glubberefle wohen glibbed" The fisherman whispered.
FIN
