It's always nice to read your thoughts once in a while. I support whatever path you take (only you know what is right...)

I live in a nice-ish area have a good job and earn a reasonable wage but this is not enough or even close.

I hear you. Things are different for me now too. I know I have everything, enough stuff but there's still this huge void that needs to be filled... There's this quote I found from this great series I watched while I was feeling diabolical lol ("Mindhunter").

“So what I truly believe is that along with more money and police and prisons, what we most need more of is love. This is not being simplistic; it’s at the very heart of the issue.”
― John Edward Douglas,

It really IS the only cure...