I heard footsteps as if someone was following me, while I was returning from a latenight party with friends. I didn't have enough courage to turn around and see who it was, as it was really late and apart from a few stray dogs there was no sign of human presence around. After walking for a while, I couldn’t fathom the curiosity and I turned around to see who it was. All I could figure out, in the darkness were two eyes silently staring at me.
I was terrified by the silence of the night and looked at those eyes trying to look for a sign of movement. There was an inexplicable power clouding my judgments. Those eyes glinted and a scent passed through all the remoteness. I stood there, fascinated, captivated and turned back to bow and elope with huge steps. Those eyes chased me with concentration. Their gravity compelled me to stop and surrender myself. The gravity of those eyes showed that I was the only person alive.
The moon shone outside the layer of darkness and my heart stopped beating. The shallow layer of darkness was lit in a glaze. I could now begin to see who it was as the shadow's strong feet tediously overtook my speed and continued to walk towards me. I wanted it to turn back and go. All this while my heart pounded against my ribs with thuds. As the figure moved past darkness and turned towards me, I could clearly see the face of a man illuminated by the street lights. He was someone I didn't want to see, Gautam.
He looked at me through his mesmerising black eyes. His extreme stare shook me inside out and I looked for some narrow alley to flee. There was a dark tunnel at a distance of fifty metres from him. Few gamblers were sitting at the entrance covering the circle around a bonfire, playing cards. Perhaps I could see them because of the fire, but they could not see us. I ran with a bolt to escape from here. As I tried to run past him, he stood in front of me blocking my way. It seemed he was proving my weakness to leave that place without his permission. Each time I tried to escape, his hands stopped me. He held my hands when I tried freeing myself and with every attempt, his grip tightened, and my blue bracelet broke into shards cutting his palm.
He stared sturdily at me with his eyes more determined than ever. He left my hand and pulled me closer. I shut my eyes in anticipation and hit him on his stomach in an attempt to break loose but all my efforts went in vain. I wept, shouted and asked him to leave me. He put his hands on my mouth to subdue my yelling and embraced me tightly, denying any chance to escape. He had been following me for days and wasn’t going to leave me easily. His face smelled of strong aftershave. I stared back at his eyes with tears in mine. I made one last attempt to get out of his grip but he wouldn’t let me go. I gave up and hid my face in his shirt.
‘Let me go please’ I wept and said. He kept looking at me with tears in his eyes. ‘I love you,’ he said in a low mumble.
I silently rested my head on his heart and let my tears blot on his shirt while he heard my sobs. He wiped my tears, held a drop in his palm to stop it from falling on the ground and looked at it as if he had found a tender butterfly enlightening his skin from the air.
‘I love you’ he said one more time. I raised my head gently to look at his face and soon resumed my earlier position. I didn’t know what to say. I knew he loved me. He knew I loved him.
I wanted to run away from him, but secretly I wanted to hold on to him till I couldn’t breathe. He completed me in a way I never imagined anyone could ever. There was a sense of reconciliation in his voice that made me even more addicted to him. His breath, smell, eyes and whenever he held my hands, it made me lose all my sanity. I surrendered myself completely to him. I couldn’t bear his absence. He made me go crazy; crazy for him. It was just like romantic stories or movies where a couple in a relationship always wanted more of themselves every time. He protected me, from the sinful eyes of the world, holding my insecurities, granting me love, gifting me madness, until I reached the end of my obsession.
‘Please leave me,’ I said with my face still hidden in his shirt.
My voice was in symphony with his heart. He gleamed with an aura being reflected in the light. I put my hands on his face; His face was moist with tears. My heart hurt, I held my emotions and tried to control the pain. He put his hand on my chest and mine already on his and a pulse moved between us.
Gautam lowered his face shadowing mine and for a moment I forgot everything. I closed his bloodshot eyes with my hands. His swollen eyes said everything that I never wanted to accept. His face came near mine and I felt his warm breath. I stood there denying any possibility of coming closer. He opened his teary eyes and I shut mine in anticipation. He pushed me away with a jerk and moved two steps back. I was not scared of him, but of my own convictions.
The night grew denser and vaguely put a boundary between us blurring his face. The moon floated higher. Night predators made noise in the jungle by the side of alley. Gautam and I stood slit apart by the gap that existed only for the sake of it. There was weariness in his grip now, as he felt weighed down. He turned and walked away. I stared at him, until he was lost in the dense pelt of fog.
