I didn't know what it meant until it dawned on me. I was still having fun with the things I loved doing, teaching GOD's Word, singing melody in church, arranging the chairs for the congregation and making sure things were in perfect order.
I couldn't let anything not work out until I realized I was not but human. I totally forgot the limitation of my ability, it came out effortlessly thought it was mine (grace and power).
I was engrossed in the activities I was involved in, everything took my time and there was no trace of anger within, I was happy; I wanted to do more but...I always saw myself in church before every other person, it came from the heart, no struggles; but something happened someday.
I received a call so important and had to rush to make my presence known, it took hours and hours and for the first time ever (since I gave my life to CHRIST, since I received the Holy Spirit, the first time since I picked up a duty in church) I didn't notice I was late for church service and immediately I rushed out of the place of visitation got to church and found empty seats, there was no one insight and in less than ten minutes I see the man who I envy (spiritually), the mans's gift I covet, the one whom I call my father I felt so ashamed and turned my faceto the ground.
This has never happened before. He chastised me like GOD would His child I knelt before him and apologised, I was supposed to lead worship and I went AWOL. He was obviously mad at me, but "as a father pitieth his child", he blessed me and I went away.
I realized just one thing when I laid my head on the comfort of my pillow and a voice spoke This is just how GOD loves you despite your inability to deliver.
Not by power not by might saith the Spirit. The spirit wills but the flesh is weak. It is paramount to know that when you go off track and you feel GOD will take it out on you that GOD just waits for you to realise your fault and make amends. He knows man, He knows we are dust. It is safe for us to understand GOD even though He surpasses all human understanding, we can know and learn some characters of GOD through His Word. We get closer to Him when we hear from Him through His word.
Psalms 62:8. You need to go and grow, enjoy His presence know Him, fellowship with Him.
Although He wants more, He also knows you can't deliver all hence He expects you to live a Holy life and create a ticket that takes you through to the promised land.
