There was a theory I read somewhere when I was web surfing that suggested that people change and do not have fixed personalities, hence countering the Myers-Briggs personalities theory. It suggested that people could grow out of certain traits when the need arises and that some people can possess more than one personality trait if the need be. I agreed a lot with that proposition, but that is not the reason for writing this post.
I want to answer the second question from the Ladies of Hive community prompt contest. How much am I willing to change if I need to? Am I willing to accept change? What am I willing to change? Funny thing is, I am all about change. If change is the answer to any questions I have about myself or things around me, I take it. Doesn’t mean it is always fun. Sometimes, change can be heartbreaking and soul crushing. But we want it desperately enough to take it and move on.
The one change I need right now is tracking my spending habits. I want to be more aware of whatever is leaving my purse and why. I want to sit and carefully plan what to do with money so as to not make any more reckless mistakes. There is nothing more painful than being helpless financially. So, I am going to be tracking more of this. I have realised that having a budget is just one of those things and not necessarily enough. I need to track not just expenditures but earnings.
The next is leveling up in my discipline. I am disciplined but not as much as I want to be. I learned last year that planning doesn’t guarantee action. I have noticed a pattern and I want to use the knowledge I have accumulated last year to live as a better person this year.
One change I would also like and I am working towards is the amount of interest I express in certain things. I won’t bother anymore with certain kinds of conversations especially repetitive ones, double standards and delusional values. I will be withdrawing from whatever/whoever attacks my ability to think for myself or makes me doubt myself. Your values are not mine and I’m just tired of always being the one to fit “your” scenarios.
Now, I saw a comment from someone that said he won’t be making any resolutions as he wants to imbibe a lifestyle. I agreed. Wholeheartedly. And that is why, this is not me making a resolution. It is me deciding on the life I want to live, not people trying to live it for me. Being who I want to be, not scared of how it “reflects” on other people.
These are the changes I am working towards. I just want to be me, away from judgements (not entirely possible as people would judge even if you are dead) and overly set standards. My friend 
Seeing the topic opened a window, I guess. Writing is my reprieve. I can share my thoughts with an audience and feel heard. So, another change I want to enact is writing more on paper. I’m going to get a journal for my thoughts. Let’s see what happens from there.
Gosh. I feel so much lighter. Hehehe. Writing does heal me. How about you? What little changes are you going to be adding to your life?
