I started writing a post when my mind went blank. However, I realised that it went blank because I kept looking for the “perfect” words to describe in detail what I was trying to communicate. One of the major flaws I have noticed about myself is how I tend to over complicate things and not by intention.
When I went blank on that post, I remembered how a young lady who read a post of mine expressed her disappointment that I didn’t use more “sophisticated” words. She was used to the likes of Chimamanda and the rest. Hence, she had a certain kind of expectation in regards to the materials she consumed. Maybe everyone in her circle also talked fancy, employing polished Es and Rs.
I had no idea I let what this lady said get to me until now. I started writing the previous post at 00:55am but then at 01:08am my brain froze and the image of her words replayed in my head. Like a very annoying detail in a movie, I had flashbacks of how I would dissect my every post putting more words than necessary to sound “sophisticated”.
Quite alright, the eloquence of words grants us a kind of confidence and make us seem smart. Many times, words are thrown here and there for the purpose of proving something - I am intelligent. Which is not always true. The fact that someone has a good command of the English language doesn’t mean that they understand the importance of good communication or character. Because they can win arguments doesn’t mean they have wisdom. They just know how to use big words.
Now, I got angry in my spirit. Why should I let something that happened over a year ago control me even today? When did I let my thoughts be governed by the desire to be perceived as intelligent? Just when did I become enraptured with the tools forgetting the message? Yeah, I was angry. Sometimes, simplicity in communication is all that needs to be.
I already find it hard putting my feelings to words on a normal day, it’s harder when I have to do it with big grammar just to be validated as a writer. Yeah that sucks. The fact that there are “writers” out there pushing this narrative is more concerning. One minute, we are told to write from the heart and the next we are swamped with suggestions and ideas on how to make our writing better, more polished. That’s bullshit.
I find it easier to communicate my thoughts like this than employing the use of “doctorate” English. Unlike many who have the gift of retention, I find I am not that way. I have tried in every way possible but all it does is get in the way of my writing. I am not the type that remembers fancy words to express what I’m feeling at the moment because like everything I pen here, it comes from within and it is unfiltered.
So, 01:25am and I am still writing. However, I am clearer on what I want to communicate and it is in two words, stay true. Many times we want to wear the shoe of others that we forget there is only one of a kind of our person. The way A does it might be working for them, they have the attention, the validation you are so hungry for and the love of people (who don’t even matter) because they write so well. That doesn’t make you any less significant. Your words may have been simple enough to penetrate the wavering heart of a man or the unsettled mind of a woman. Your words in all its simplicity may have carried answers that the biggest English words failed to communicate.
Sometimes, professionalism kills passion and enthusiasm. It’s not about writing a Pulitzer material. How far can you scratch the surface? I remember reading a post by 
Sometimes, we get so carried away by the means of sending a message we ignore the message. Hence the reason for this post. A reminder to my future self when I forget why I write. I don’t write to be seen as smart, I write because I love to. It is second nature to me to pen down my words as simple as they are.
All images are mine
