It is quite well established that when something traumatic happens to us, it can have lasting effects.
Unfortunately, most people are not aware of just how much these traumas can affect virtually everything in their lives, even long after they insist that they have long since "gotten over it.
One of the challenges we face in our modern society is that we are almost always busy, and our environments expect us to not "pause" for very long, when something derails our lives.
We're not supposed to linger. And so, a great many people only examine and acknowledge a trauma at the most superficial level, while assuring the world around them that they are "doing fine."
In fact, they are not doing fine, much of the time. And the reasons can be incredibly subtle, and that's why so much trauma goes unaddressed... even while we are unaware that it is so.
Consider someone whose dog or cat passes away.
Without a doubt, we all recognize the loss of a beloved pet, and understand it. And then we "get over it." But really? Perhaps that pet carries memories far beyond being "a cat" or "a dog," instead also being the last living reminder of a now deceased parent or sibling... who perhaps gave you that pet.
It's not just "Felix, my cat died," it's "Felix that cat, whom my deceased sister gave me for by 16th birthday, passed away."* You're not just mourning Felix, you're also mourning the loss of a living memory of your sister.
See how it can get very complicated?
According to a trauma recovery counselor, one of the tasks he often face with clients is "unpacking" all the layers of a trauma that doesn't seem to want to end.
Of course, we're probably most familiar with these aftereffects when dealing with veterans of combat zones and wars, or perhaps someone who was in a major fire or accident. Those, of course, are obvious.
But much is largely "invisible," and yet it is just as important to heal it, as any other trauma... and essential perhaps, because it can affect and disrupt our lives in ways we cannot even imagine. These days, we are still unwrapping the ways the recent pandemic disrupted lives in ways we still don't understand...
Healing matters, if we are to live full and content lives!
