Well done!

It's a journey, to be sure, always a journey... and it never ends. I see aspects of my own life in your story. One of the "toxic" lessons I was raised with was the false notion that there are only two acceptable emotions for men: Anger/rage... and busting up happiness. Anything else is suspect. Sad, given that we actually have something on the order of 60 identifiable emotional states.

My first wife turned out to be a gay hypochondriac who took more than 10 years to admit to either; my second was a rageaholic narcissist... both situations I was ill equipped to handle.

Anyways, I admire your courageous and heartfelt posts, as always!