Wow Jerry, that's quite a story... and quite a weight to cart around till you figured out how to process it and go forward. I can't even imagine.

My dad was born in 1918; I was born in 1960 so we both had "older" dads who struggled to understand who we were... Mrs. Denmarkguy no. 2 (the current one) really helped me see my existence in a different light; how to see my self-definition as something more/different than just my piss-poor choices. I'm still an aging hippy-dippy dude in many ways, but a little less vehement in my rejection of all things I was raised with...

It's all a journey... it's up to us to give it the meaning that affords us a measure of contentment.