Happy Birthday, even if a little after the fact!
SIXTY. That's how far I'll be counting for the next one, next month. As we age, I think we cycle more and more through "the ones that were," no matter how much we're telling ourselves that we're Being Present and Living For The Now and other stories. Perhaps it's simply because we are (even if subconsciously) aware that we have more life behind us than ahead of us. Beats me...
Dreams (as in "the life we've dreamed of") have a way of remaining dreams... the reality has a way of being not quite it, and so the dream morphs and changes, and remains always just out of reach. Not that drteaming is bad, mind you... as long as it doesn't keep us from being active participants in our own lives, rather than passive bystanders letting life happen TO us.
Doesn't sound like you have, or are.
Enough waxing philosophical....
RE: ...