By most standards, I was likely raised in a very old fashioned household.
Among the core tenets of how we were expected to behave was the idea that you NEVER admitted to having any weaknesses, flaws or shortcomings... and even if they were pretty visible, you swept such things under the rug and acted with bravado.
Of course, that's not a very healthy way to be... but it was the only way. Back then.
With all these years of hindsight, I am well aware of my weaknesses and shortcomings, but what I really had to learn was that there was no need to hide them.
Of course, many people still do hide what they perceive to be weaknesses... mostly as a response to their egos being afraid of them being seen as "weak" or manybe "flawed."
Although I often have the appearance of being well-organized, I am actually not. In general, I have very low motivation to being so.
I have come to recognize that much of my chaos is directly related to ADHD... in the sense that I often lack the dopamine to feel ambitious enough to get up and truly stay on top of organization.
Undoubtedly, my parents would be been horrified by the idea that I typically work from a "good enough" perspective!
One of the attributes few people are willing to own is that they are lacking ambition. It's somewhat awkward and embarrassing, and it quickly gets you labeled as being "lazy and useless."
It's one of those things I was very aware of from a relatively young age when it seemed like I always lacked that drive to "accomplish and conquer" that seemed prevalent among my peers.
I look back across my life, and there are good reasons why pursuing a career just didm't hold much value, in my world.
It wasn't that I didn't understand that in order to have things you needed to put forth effort, but the whole notion of "having things" was never deeply rooted in my psyche. To the degree that I wanted to have anything, it were things like "nice friends" and "inner peace."
Sort of ironic that I spent four years in business school, while at University!
I guess some people are more oriented towards doing a lot of things... I just wanted to be left alone to be.
Which isn't to say that I didn't recognize the need to stay active in certain aspects of life... as a means to "getting by." I definitely did not want to end up as a bum, or as someone who just wasn't milking the welfare system. I just didn't aspire to enything much beyond that "getting by."
Here in the USA, that doesn't necessarily make me a bad person, but it does make me a little different from the values people are typically taught.
But I am OK with this particular "weakness."
This is a topic I could easily write a lot about, but I shall refrain... at least for now!
Thanks for coming by, and have a great Sunday!
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Created at 2025.10.25 23:38 PST
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