There was a time when I actually believed that the best way for me to succeed with some new plan or project was to start off with buying myself a new blank notebook or journal to record my progress in!
I laughed a bit to myself earlier today, as I thought about that particular (mis)belief... while starting to sketch out a few plans (in my head, anyway) for what I might want to get into, in 2026. I could feel, there in a back corner of my mind, a small voice whispering "Yeah, you ought to get a new book for this!"
I know... it's only Boxing Day and I am already starting to busy my mind with stuff like that. What can I say? I have one of those minds that's always churning, even when it seems like I am sitting still and doing practically nothing.
Of course, the act of buying a notebook was never of much use, when it comes to projects... I have a whole shelf of "slightly used" notebooks as a monument to that!
The "story" I end up telling myself is that my problem with never getting very far with projects I undertake is that I am poorly organized, and having that new notebook only for the project will somehow help.
I suppose we all have our own bits and pieces of psychology that motivate us. Some people are — indeed — motivated by organization and meticulously charting and tracking their progress in notebooks. While it sounds good to me, I have come to understand that I am ultimately motivated by crisis level deadlines, not progress charts. And when you've reached crisis mode, you likely don't have time to pause and neatly record your progress in a notebook!
Another "story" I told myself for many years was that I basically "sucked at working." In plain English: I was lazy.
But if that were actually the case, why was there not a single person — except my mother — I know who thinks I'm actually lazy?
The truth is actually that I have a really tough time focusing on anything that doesn't feel meaningful and inspiring. Maybe that just sounds a bit self-indulgent, but there's some actual biology/physiology underlying that.
I won't get into the finer workings of neuroscience here — because there just isn't space enough — but suffice it to say that the culprit in my case is often a sort of dopamine dysregulation; specifically a shortage.
If you think of dopamine as the "motivation fuel" that gets us going on things that need to get done — for work, in life, in relationships, etc. — imagine what it might feel like if you're constantly operating with 1/4 the fuel flow, compared to the world around you... and the things that should supposedly inspire you to run faster instead ends up putting you to sleep!
Of course, there's no real cure for the situation, so you're basically left with trying to find ways to manage the situation... usually through various forms of tricks and trickery.
Actual laziness? Not so much.
Perhaps the best thing we can do for ourselves is be aware of what is story that's a self—deception so we can face our inherent challenges from an informed perspective. Doesn't mean we'll always get it right, but at least we'll give ourselves a shot... because the human psyche can be a slippery beast!
Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful weekend!
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Created at 2025.12.27 02:22 PST
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