I'm a nerd.
Or so people tell me, and have been telling me, since my teens.
It's not something I have ever really thought about nor aspired to... at least not in the sense of "this is the group I identify with." Evidently it is just something I am, as a result of my choices in life; whatever it is that I find interesting and engaging.
It's funny what allegedly makes you a nerd, at least according to the people who feel compelled to assign labels to other people. Such as thinking things through, before you make a decision to take action. Or reading the instructions before you start assembling something complex. Or preferring peace and quiet over noise and chaos. So nerdy!
Which suggests that using common sense and critical thinking, while also practicing conscious emotional self-regulation makes you a nerd. That sentence, alone, was likely "nerdy."
I had nerdy hobbies when I was a kid... although sometimes it seemed like even having a hobby made you a nerd. However, the fact that I collected stamps when I was young definitely landed me in the nerd camp!
A few years later — as I entered my teen years — I thoroughly confirmed my nerd status by playing golf as a sport. It just made sense to me, as we lived right there with the gate in our back yard opening onto a golf course. I thought of myself as being mostly lazy and sensible by choosing an activity I could participate in without my parents having to drive me somewhere.
I played football (soccer) too and was even first team goalie for a while, and was a regionally ranked long distance runner... but it didn't seem enough to overcome the nerdiness associated with golf.
As I progressed through my teens and into early adulthood, I became aware that sometimes the mere fact that you don't identify with a particular clique is regarded as somewhat nerdy.
Of course, it is now several decades later and I have come to realize that many people in this world are uncomfortable with those who actually think about life, rather than just stumbling through it in a state of constant reactivity. At the same time, what is considered "normal" actually falls within a remarkably narrow band, even if the term "normal" implies some kind of majority of the population; aka "the norm."
At University, I was mostly interested in creative writing and psychology... both considered somewhat nerdy, I think mostly because they are disciplines that actually require you to think.
Anyway, I was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism quite late in life, and — in retrospect — I'm pretty sure those were major factors in acquiring my early "nerd" label. Neurodivergent people seem to be wired for nerdiness.
As I look back, the funny thing about it is that the older you get, the less nerdy you are perceived to be, even though not much has actually changed in the way you are, in life. It's more like the rest of the world somehow "settles down" a bit. I'm OK with that.
Of course, the preceding has all been somewhat tongue-in-cheek and satirical, but also a commentary on the crazy extent to which many people obsess over self-image.
I suppose it's not really for me to judge... I expect there's some kind of comfort in claiming "ownership" of a classification... I just never cared.
And I do think there's freedom in that.
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2026.10.06 01:10 PDT
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