There is an old truism that "birds have a feather flock together."
It speaks to the fact that we humans tend to gravitate towards others who have had similar experiences to ours, and who think similarly to us, because in their company we feel heard, and like where was somebody who can relate to our experience.
In this modern day and age where we often share our experiences online, the algorithms find what we're saying and then steers us in the direction of other people who have most likely the same experience, and particularly, have complaints about something.
Personal experience tells me this is true. Back when I was doing a lot of self inquiry and self-study, I often would seek out online groups that were made up of people wrestling with the same issues I was. It was nice to feel supported, and to engage with others who were on the same journey.
The problem with that, of course, is that we're likely to end up in a sort of echo chamber where everyone feels pretty similar to us and everybody else's experience is pretty similar to ours.
The most serious part about this process is that we develop a tendency to end up viewing something that was simply an event — let's say being rejected when we asked for a date with someone we fancied — and instead interpreting a single occurrence as a pattern because we've been put together with lots of other people who have also been rejected on dates.
And then we end up formulating theories and ideas about the reality of the world... that are based almost entirely upon a small and isolated sample rather than a fair representation of the entire world.
I'm using dating as an example here because we happen to be front and center to our middle son (aged 36) who is currently part of the "dating and mating Game." And he's having a really difficult time with it!
Or IS he?
The challenge is to shake him loose from the (false) belief that the online dating apps are — in fact — representative of the entirety of people meeting, dating and mating. The point being, there are lots of people who are completely oblivious to online dating and its particular metrics and who are out there encountering others and getting happily connected.
The other thing that's important — continuing with the dating theme — is to remember that a couple of negative experiences within the microcosm that is online dating is not enough to say that your experiences are a "global trend." That would simply be a false conclusion; taking a fraction of the whol out-of-context and declaring that it's everything.
Of course, there's probably no place where this tencency manifests more clearly than in the areas of politics and religion.
Within politics and religion very few people are actually looking for tangible information and facts, choosing instead the relentless pursuit of proof that whatever they believe in is right and true, in the absolute sense. And, by extension, that anybody who believes differently from them is wrong.
With the support of algorithms predominantly feeding us the information that supports our point of view, we gradually end up with the high degree of extremism that we see in the world today. People find their tiny echo chambers and then get enraged when others don't see the world as they do... because pretty much the only things the algorithms feed them supports their beliefs... see the problem?
Which is why I always find that some of the most interesting and educational interviews I watch in the news or on YouTube are the ones where people of vastly opposing perspectives get together and actually talk about things... like a couple of days ago when Cenk Uygur was on Tucker Carlson's podcast.
I suppose the best thing we can do for ourselves is to stay open to "checking ourselves" and making sure we're not just stuck in some echo chamber, when it comes to approaching important life decisions.
There's more to life than just listening to the perspectives that support our biases!
Thanks for stopping by, and have a great weekend!
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Created at 2026.02.06 23:59 PST
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