The child is growing, and now parents notice that he is inclined to play with some children, ignoring others. There are children who are very selective in communicating with their peers, but there are also those who can and love to communicate with everyone.
Why did this happened? What does the choice of your friends indicate?This is due in large part to temperament and character, but emotional development and internal problems also influence the choice of the child. Therefore, let's analyze the child's choice.
Age is an important factor for children when choosing their friends.
• The child is easy to contact with any age category.
There are few of these children and if your child falls into this category, you have "social intelligence," that is, communication of talents. You do not have problems like anxiety, fear, low self-esteem, shyness.
• The child prefers to play with his peers•.
This is the most common category. This behavior is natural: the level of development is almost the same, the interests coincide, as well as the social skills.
• The child likes to play more with older children.
Multiple reasons:
1.The child is ahead of the intellectual development of his peers, "exceeded" their games and interests.
2.The child is not well developed, the ability to communicate "on equal terms". Often, these are the only children of the family. They expect indulgence, concessions, they do not know how to count on the opinion of the other child. And older children find this behavior fun.
• The child prefers to play with babies.
In such games, the older child feels skillful and experienced. Especially the love of getting involved with girls, this is due to the appearance of role behaviors (girls "prove" the roles of mother, teacher, mentor, etc.).
• The child only plays with adults.
Often, these children are "at home", do not attend the children's team, imitate close adults throughout ("adult" speech, power behavior, lack of games and fun for children). The consequence of this behavior: the inability to communicate with their peers, the appearance of problems in communication later in school.
• Children up to 2 years
Source
Old do not care who plays with them: a boy or a girl.
• Around 3 to 4 years
The child begins to realize their gender (I am a boy / girl), so that children from 3 to 4 years can prefer to play with babies of the same sex. And the games for boys and girls begin to differ, if the first one likes to play with the cars, the second one (the girls) focus on dolls, mini copies of domestic appliances. Children more often than girls play mobile and noisy games.
If a child is interested in playing with children of the opposite sex, is it worthwhile to consider that he is falling behind in development or is behaving incorrectly? When a 4-year-old child plays dolls from time to time, not forgetting the "kids" games and choosing male roles as dads, drivers, etc., in a plot role play, he is likely to simply copy the actions of peers of class (girls).
At this age, children tend to imitate, try to repeat, copy the actions of other children and the behavior of adults, seen on television. If the child avoids games, and "child" entertainment, he strongly prefers girls' society, adults should think. For such behavior can be serious problems derived from errors in education, the internal fears of the child.
You should pay attention to the frequency with which a child communicates with dad. grandfather (has an example of decent male behavior); Who did mom want during pregnancy: a son or daughter, since it affects their attitude towards the child? The same goes for girls, the stubborn rejection of "infantile" games can indicate a series of problems in an emotional state.
• In 5-6 years
The desire for different games is increasingly pronounced. But in the middle of the divisions of games by "sex" roles, interest in the opposite sex increases. Children can play together, but children will choose male roles and girls, women or roles will not have gender differences (for example, playing in a store).
If at this age, a child prefers to play with children of the opposite sex, he may be trying to meet the expectations of an adult! For example, a mother likes her child to be calm, gentle, she encourages such behavior, imposing the characteristics of male behavior; or dad admires that the daughter is able to fend for herself, he teaches her aggressive games and the girl seeks not to disappoint the expectations of his father.
• From 6 to 7 years:
Girls and boys become more tolerant of each other. They are united by the general role of students, school interests. Together they play outdoor games at recess.
Therefore, if at this age a child likes to play with children of the opposite sex, this is not an indicator, although most children in games retain a preference for children of their own sex.
• End of primary school:
Class division begins in "male" and "female" halves. Mutual sympathy is not expressed openly, relationships between the sexes can sometimes resemble fighting. If at this age the child prefers to communicate with children about the same sex, it is worth observing.
It is most likely that such a child has adaptation problems in the children's team, in communication with their peers of their gender.
Children and adults. Introverts (when a person is self-directed, prefers small businesses, has no loneliness, has few close friends) or extroverts (a person needs constant communication, likes big noisy companies, can communicate with several people).
Depending on these characteristics, as well as temperament and character, the child seeks to play with many children or is happy with a friend.
Now it became clear that an attentive adult can learn a lot about the child, see who he plays with and what roles he prefers to take. The baby is constantly changing.
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