Given the choice between a zombie apocalypse and being the last living person on Earth, I’d have to go with the zombies.
I mean, without other people around, who would appreciate my clever quips, my bon mots, my razor-sharp repartee? What would be the point of my brilliance if there were no one to impress? And who would I blame for my mistakes? No, no, that wouldn’t do at all.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not exactly a people person. Some might say I border on the misanthropic. But even I need people, if only to properly admire me.
Besides, I’ve been preparing for a zombie apocalypse for years and I’m ready.
My walls are high, and based on what I’ve learned from the movies, zombies aren’t known for their climbing skills. Should a few of the undead manage to scramble over, my four savage hounds will happily tear them limb from limb.
If we’re overrun? Well, I’m nimble, fleet of foot, and I can hit a moving target at 50 yards with my air pistol, as my brother can confirm. Though granted, at twenty stone, he doesn’t exactly dart about.
Anyway, I reckon fat people become fat zombies and isn’t everyone overweight these days, yourself excepted, of course, dear reader?
If it really comes to the crunch, I’ll just push my obese sibling out the gate to keep the zombies occupied while I leg it. With my rigorous training regime, I’ll easily outrun the buggers.
You know what they say...he who fights and runs away lives to fight another day.
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Posted in response to galenkp's weekend experience
prompt asking ' Would you rather be in a zombie apocalypse or the only living person on the planet?
The images are mine
