Sometimes I have nightmares that I’m still an employer. Then I wake up and thank Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and all the saints that I’ve retired from that game. It’s not that I disliked employing people, it’s just that I can’t imagine trying to do it now, in a world of mobile-phone addiction and attention spans measured in seconds.
For me, the three most important qualities in an employee were speed, lateral thinking, and loyalty. The problem is, how do you put those on a CV? Or are CVs even a thing these days, when a prospective employer can discover the very minutiae of your life just by looking at your social media posts?
I can’t say I ever did put much store in resumes. More often than not, I’d toss them in the bin and invite everyone for an interview lasting no more than five minutes. The way I saw it, a person’s academic achievements said little about them other than that they could learn things by rote and then regurgitate them on demand. I reckoned I could tell more about a candidate by their speed climbing the stairs to the interview room and whether they could maintain eye contact, than I could from the stuff they’d made up on their CV.
My interview process was simple. Anyone who asked about sick leave, overtime rates, or career progression was quickly crossed off the list, followed by those who replied Pride and Prejudice or Lord of the Flies when asked about the last book they’d read.
That usually left me with the one perfect applicant. Job done!
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Posted in response to Galenkp's Weekend experiences asking ' ' Would you prefer a world in which there were no rules at all and no government?".
The images are mine
