I know, it must be a horribly shocking thing to hear that I do indeed occasionally leave my home and go outside. I mean, what kind of disgusting being would do such a thing? I'm sure most of you probably lay around in your own filth watching cake farting videos and ranting on twitter about how much you hate something like the rest of the general public does. But, yeahhh. It's been a long time since I've hit up the zoo, and I figured maybe it would be something fun to do before winter hits and it becomes a frozen fucking tundra here where I actually can't go outside without wanting to Jack Torrance everyone around me. Plus, you know, I get to milk you fucking suckers for some upvotes while I'm at it.
So, prepare yourself for the giant photo dump of animals babyyy.
The first thing we found after entering the zoo, a bunch of Flamingos. They mostly just sat around trying to drown themselves and fighting over water trash. My kind of people for sure.
I don't remember what this species was exactly, but he was one of the most chill birds in their exhibit. So, he's aight in my book.
There was also this guy, the rhinoceros hornbill who mother nature must have hated since they evolved to look like they have a rainbow colored dildo glued to their foreheads. A cool bird none the less, which is apparently endangered.
This fucker was super aggressive and probably the award winner for biggest chad of the aviary. I believe this is a Kagu, and must feed on a diet of cocaine with how it behaved.
After the birds we found this little guy, the Chevrotain. Probably one of the most adorable little fuckers in the zoo.
Once we were done with all that, we moved onto the primate areas. Some of these guys weren't on exhibit from it being mildy cold, I guess monkeys haven't heard of wearing clothes. Pft. Fucking idiots. But, yeah. These colobus monkeys were pretty nice, they spent most of their time foraging through boxes for snacks. As we all do.
Shortly after we were greeted with quite possibly the greatest part of this whole trip, dirty orangutan ass. What more could you ask for?
There was also this thicc specimen, who spent literally the entire time just sitting there and eating from the giant pile of food while we were there. Respect.
We found a baby orangutan in another area, who you'd think was trained at the circus with how much of a showman he was. I could have probably just made an entire post with photos from this little dude.
He apparently has a strong respect for firemen, with how obsessed he was with this toy. He would easily be the perfect choice for a firehouse mascot. Someone get this ape an axe and a gas mask, stat.
There was a group of lemurs just chilling here, though for some reason they're in a sound proof room. Probably to keep them from being annoyed from all the dumb fucks who like to yell at the animals for no reason. The last time I was here there was an obese woman calling them lazy and stupid and smacking at the glass because they were taking naps. So, you know, fuck the general public.
Thankfully it seems like they've found their one true god, lemur-buddha. Probably my favorite picture out of all the ones I snagged that day.
The reptile housing was the last area we stopped to check out. As you can see, I quickly found my spirit animal here in this sleepy boi. I would say this is the personification of how I feel 80 percent of the time, honestly.
Here you can see what looks like quite possibly the inspiration for that terrible, god awful 1998 Godzilla movie that starred Matthew Broderick. Man, that movie fucking sucked.
I don't remember what type of snake this was, but, I do remember him noping the fuck out of there and scaling the wall like he was trying to break out of Alcatraz to get away from us. Can't say I blame him.
I believe this green anacondas was a recent addition to the zoo. It's pretty wild to think this is one of the few snake species that has been known to try and devour Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez. So brave.
These next few slides I grouped together because it made me realize that every type of rattlesnake that exists just look perpetually like they want to speak to your manager. Cool snakes though.
The last shot I took of my trip, and the only fish from the entire thing because I was too lazy to go into the aquarium that day. While a really pretty looking fish, they're venomous and associate with gypsies. Meaning they should be avoided before you're cursed.
Hope you enjoyed the photo dump! It was a pretty nice little trip, even if a lot of the animals were off exhibit because of the time of year. I'm sure I'll go again sometime in the spring/summer and hopefully can see some of the other stuff I missed. Not that it matters much, since most of you have the attention span of a 7 year old and probably couldn't even make it through this selection of animals. Anyways, doods. Until next time!
Later!
