May every glove in the box rip wide open when you put it on.

A face shield cannot protect you from your stupidity.

Alcohol is not a GI cleanser.

That night will be a future med school student's case study in epidemiology.

I hope that cyst you're removing from that homeless wino explodes in your face.

I hope your next patient eats a bag of haribo sugar free gummy bears before he sees you.

Your decision to throw a party is about as dim-witted as a retard on Valium.

You are such a danger to those around you, you're better off checking yourself into the psych ward instead of showing up to work. But hey, at least you won't have to travel far!