Growing up, I used to think being a man was easy and it something that just happens with age. You grow older, your voice changes, you start making decisions, and that does not end there. But life has shown me that being a man is not about age or appearance. It’s about responsibility, and that part is not as easy as it sounds.
My father didn’t talk too much, but his actions said a lot. He would wake up early, go out, come back tired, yet still find a way to provide and guide the family. As a child, I didn’t see it clearly and don't understand it in time. I only saw the results, food on the table, school fees paid, things somehow working. But now I understand that behind those things was pressure, sacrifice, and choices he didn’t always talk about.
One of the first responsibilities I noticed is accountability. As a man, people expect you to stand by your words and actions. If something goes wrong, you don’t always have the space to run or hide, you must face it. That can feel heavy sometimes. There were moments I made mistakes and wanted to blame someone else, but I remembered my father’s quiet way of owning things. It’s not easy, but it builds strength.
Another responsibility is taking care of others, not just financially, but emotionally too. Many people think being a man is only about providing money. But I’ve seen that presence matters too. Listening, supporting, being there when someone is struggling. My mother used to say, “Strength is not only in your hands, it’s also in your heart.” That stayed with me.
There is also the responsibility of self-control. Life will test you with many frustration, anger and disappointment. How you respond matters. I have failed in this many times, speaking when I should stay quiet, reacting instead of thinking. But I keep learning. Being a man is not about being perfect, it’s about correcting yourself when you fall short.
Another thing I’ve come to understand is that being a man means continuing to grow in knowledge. You don’t stop learning. You don’t stop improving. Even when life becomes tiring, you keep moving forward, not just for yourself, but for those who look up to you.
Responsibility is not something you carry one day and drop the next. It stays. Some days it feels heavy, other days it feels normal. But over time, it shapes you.
Being a man, from what I’ve seen and experienced, is not about showing power. It’s about carrying weight quietly and still choosing to do what is right.
Image is mine
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